My Drinking Habits

Note to self..

2009-06-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

Write about the casino weekend
-head rests
-stopping to pee
-gambling
-poker/blackjack
-morning drive
-cassie/becca/migilicutty
-jimmy
-blackout rum drive home
write about high school grad
write about party at my house
write about pary in BPT at jess's
write about sarah in the city
write about kati in the city
write about tassys 21st...if you can remember...
write about sarah kristi and cosmoritas.

Got a bit of writing to do guys...

Club in Hartford

2009-06-05T04:19:00.000-07:00

So a few days back, me and lillie went to her friend dorians house and when were on the way, we had them pick up a bottle of JD. We play video games and drink. Suddenly the bottle is gone. Oh well. We had plans to go to a club in hartford since our friend jen had an ex boyfriend DJing that night. So we head over to jens and when we arrive, i put the last 2 shots of the JD into my mouth. Lillie complains that i didnt leave her any, so i jokingly put my lips out like i want her to just get a squirt into her mouth. She actually does come up and and take a bit. Someone just took a shot out of my mouth. EPIC. So we drive to hartford with donny and jen, in Donnys bimmer. We arrive and the manager comes over to me lillie and jen and asks us what bottle we want. we happily order a bottle of jack and sit down. They bring over he most elaborate bucket of ice, coke, and glasses. I was just going to pass the bottle around but i guess he had other ideas. Later, im out side smoking with jen and lillie when some hoodrats come over in a charger and start cat callign jena nd lillie. One says "You can haf' bof' dem to yo'se'f" so i respond by looking into the car and saying naw but i can take all three of you guys, and smiling at them and then putting my hands up like im sucking dicks and make motions like im jacking them off onto me. they get all pissed and tell jen and lillie to jump in, at which point i say, 'Don't mind if i do boys!" and try to sit down. Thats when they get agitated and we walk in. About 3 drinks in, im hungry so i go to eat with lillie and jen remarks "guess im no as drunk as you, ill just catch up." When me and lillie get back from eating, jen is nearly passed out, and boots into a few cups and then actually passes out. I take off my sweater and give it to her as a pillow. eventually the jacks gone, so i go buy 2 beers for me and lillie. Followed by 2 more. lillie drinks 1 and im left to drink the other 3. I go out to smoke a cigarette and some hot girl with an accent goes to sit down next to me bu its dirty on he ledge so i move over clean off he ledge because i'm just in jeans and shes in a while pants. But she doesn't sit on the newly cleaned ledge. She sits right in my lap. Shes a lithuanian nanny or some shit. I couldn't pay attention. From where i was sitting, i could see right down the front of her shirt so. EY OHHHHHH. But yeah, she leaves with her friend and soon after that, me jen and donny leave. As we carry donnys stuff to his car, the crowd out side claps for donny and we all feel special. We wake jen up enough to get the car and leave. When we get to jens house to pick up our car, Me and lillie make the horrible decision of driving home. Now i'm against drunk driving...but i was drunk, what can i do? so she passes me the keys and i head home. Its a little hard but i'm fine, until we reach bridgeport. With only 4 exits to go, the world turns into a kaleidoscope. Im driving 65 but it feels like 165. We get off the exit and go to andrews. I pop a another beer and a few minues later i hope back into the car and we drive home. Im feeling pretty lit so when me and lillie get home, we just pass out. It was a fun night.

Drinks: 2 bottles of jack split between 3 people plus 3 beers.
drunk level: 7 before driving, 9 while driving

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

2009-05-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

SO. A family found my blog some time ago, and i was waiting for the heat to go down on it. But not i'm back and ill be updating a few times a month hopefully. I'm thinking ill tell some excerpts from the last few months.

-Got drunk and walked in the rain around the corner with no shirt or shoes on, proceeded to unknowingly hit on a girl by telling her she had the most beautiful blues eyes ive ever seen. Smoked my cigarette into the filter. Kristi and lauren came out to find me and a dude in a car pulled a gun on them. Honest to god.

-Left a party in brooklyn with a friend named Sarah. Proceeded to black out. Only think i remember between brooklyn and st marks place is sitting down on the floor waiting for the subway, and proceeding to fall over and lay on the floor as people stepped over me, with sarahs head in my lap.

-Others things that ill add if i remember. All i can say is that the drinking increased to about 5 or 6 nights a week. Ive slowed down to only a time or 2 a week of getting wasted.

Hope you guys stick around, there will be more updates.

White trash bonanza...for reals.

2009-02-28T00:57:00.001-08:00

At about 6 me and caroline get dressed for the white trash themed birthday party. Oh did it get trashy....we walk down to kristi's. for 2 hours there is no one else really there. me and caroline go next door and start drinking. some creepy fat kid starts pouring shots and after like 4 or 5, i complain that hes a pussy and pour a few shots of whiskey. they all whimper as i divide the shots up and then we take them. Glorious.

So i hear screams and i walk back into bobs apartment to see the sight of bob being punched in the head by some talk ghetto kid. I run up behind him, put him in a sleeper hold and pull him to the door. we have shit regulated and bobs shirt is ripped. 30 seconds later, the kid is back with his fat 6 foot 2 friend. Everything is on the verge of breaking but were still being diplomatic. Then the original kid steps in and punches bob again. he gets a few punches off until i grab him by the throat again and then i see a bottle whizzing towards my head. Luckily the poor boy who i have in asleeper hold, blocks the bottle with his head. blood pours from his head and i pull him to the floor. He smacks his head on the stove before landing on a few empty 40's. a few more punches are thrown before we finally wrestle them out of the apartment. At some point, kristi and caroline come out of kristis apartment and stare at me, jaws on the floor. Everyones looking at me, as if i have 10 heads. its at this point that my face and foot is covered in blood. Everyone is trying to clean me up. im convinced its not my blood and i light a cigarette as kaitlin (bobs gf) cleans my face. we hear a knock and guess what? they're back again. I push my way into the hallway, slamming one dude in the throat and shutting the door. some girl is talkign shit to kristi and asking for paper towels so i throw a roll at her and push her and her friends down the hallway. Some kid kevin steps up to kristi like hes going to hit her. I step in between and throw my face at his. He steps back and they start to leave. after a bit more talking, they are all down the stairs and i walk back into the apartment. were all screaming, Dani is near tears, allen is in tears and were all shaking. Just want to say that kristi held it down and ripped the hair out of that chicks skull. Kristi represented that shit. She saw me with blood in my head and totally wrecked her. Caroline was there too....in spirit. anyways. i get cleaned up, im bleeding from my feet and face. I get cleaned up, give Dani a hug and do a shot with her. Then we all sit on kristi's couch and recount our tales of the fight.

Justin Campbell

2009-02-23T12:56:00.000-08:00

Name: Justin Campbell

Age: 11

Favorite Mixed drink: mind eraser

Favorite beer: beer.

Favorite liquor: jack daniels

Favorite drinking song: 99 bottles of beer on the wall

Best drunk memory or story: naked navy seals

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? thirtys all day

Random fact about you: i have a bellybutton

Matt

2009-02-23T08:38:00.001-08:00

Name:Matt Mattice

Age:27

Favorite Mixed drink:Long Island Iced Tea

Favorite beer: Molson XXX

Favorite liquor: Vodka

Favorite drinking song: The Parting Glass

Best drunk memory or story: Way too many

would you rather have a 40 or a 30?:A 100

Random fact about you:I wrote a children's book in college

Daves Birthday

2009-02-22T17:41:00.000-08:00

At 10:30 Me and caroline head to the mckibbon lofts for my friend daves birthday. I meet up with my friend David and we walk into the party. Theres a DJ, about 70 or so kids and the place is packed, hazy and hot. I crack open my first beer and light a cigarette. we talk for a while. And then me and Dave head out to find another party across the street.

The cops are outside so we go back inside but Kristi and lauren call me and say theyre almost there but what to do because of the cops. I tell them to come on in because a ton of people just came in with bags of beer. Just to be safe, krisit takes her I.d. and throws it behind her back to lauren who catches it and hides it. The cops stop kristi and start giving her shit but she sticks to be 22 and losing her ID. the cops just say fuck it and let them in.

Thats how i remember it happening. but Lauren had a problem with it so she re-wrote it in bullet form and relayed it to me via IM. Heres her version and the problem she had with my version

kristi threw her id to me when the cops told her to stand against the wall
she said she was 21
and she didnt have her id
not that she lost it

Theyre SO lucky. the next interesting part of the night, was towards the end. about 2am i go into daves room with caroline and we go in his little loft area above his bed and sit on the couch. theres no one up there and caroline start to pass out. We talk for a bit and then jake comes up and passes out on the floor. Caroline asks me to go get chips so i get up and go. When i return. for some reason i climb into the top part of daves room through a little window about 10 feet up a wall...I dont know why, but it seemed like a good idea. I eat some chips. drink my 5th 24oz can and suddenly have no shirt on. At some point some people are upstairs with me and caroline, and her and her friend are throwing shit at the people on the dance floor. Then she starts going through Daves shit. She finds a little baggie of pot and goes "cool got some pot" and puts it in her pocket. WTF? Really? so i get it back from her and she gets all angry and leaves. By 5 oclock. its almost cleared out and so i put on a song to end the night which im not sure what it was. after the song ends. i get onto the couch with caroline and we pass out almost immedietly.

Im awoken at 10:30 by daves alarm. I want to die. im deathly hung over. I go back to sleep until 1 when i get up, smoke a cig and start heping them clean. we fill 6 bags with cans and bags and the place is still a mess, but i have to leave. so i take the trash out and walk back to the subway.

Bob

2009-02-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

Name: Rob Watson

Age:20

Favorite Mixed drink: Whiskey Sour

Favorite beer: Ommegang Abbey Ale

Favorite liquor:Patron in my cup

Favorite drinking song: Any late 90's throwback

Best drunk memory or story: St. Patrick's Day 07. Lotta people drenched in booze.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40's all day. everyday.

Random fact about you:I play bass in a metal/hardcore band. An EP is currently being mixed. Prepare to have your face melted.

Matt Fucking Parry

2009-02-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

Name: Commodore Matthew Parry

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: Bacardi and Midget Cola

Favorite beer: Sunshine Wheat or Fat Tire

Favorite liquor: Jager! Savor The Flavor!

Favorite drinking song: Any song that reminds me of Rugby

Best drunk memory or story: Oh Wow. Okay, I'm going with New Years 08. Cheers Governor!

Would you rather have a 40 or a 30? A 30 would be optimal, I like sharing with my friends.

Random fact about you: I'm so fast that I can run around the planet and kick myself in the back of the head

Dana "Theres a cat on your shoulder" P

2009-02-22T11:35:00.000-08:00

Name: Dana Polomski

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: I don't know. Mojitos maybe? Vodka + cranberry? Margaritas?

Favorite beer: I've been liking UFO and Blue Moon lately.

Favorite liquor: Jager, haha.

Favorite drinking song: Stuff I can "sing" to.

Best drunk memory or story: Anything that happens on New Years, or my house way way back in the day.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30?: 40.

Random fact about you: I have 5 horsies!

Kyle "Nippin" G

2009-02-22T11:34:00.000-08:00

Name: Kyle

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: cran vodka or tequila and oj

Favorite beer: Guinness extra stout

Favorite liquor: tequila

Favorite drinking son: against me: pints of guiness make you strong

Best drunk memory or story: haha ANY night at danas back in the day...bonfires

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 30

Random fact about you: always sunny & arrested development are my favorite sows ever

Delida

2009-02-22T11:32:00.000-08:00

Name: Delida "Lidie"

Age: 25 ( this is so bad already.)

Favorite Mixed drink : Long Island Iced tea of course. Its the perfect catalyst for particularly raunchy, misguided, shameful behavior.

Favorite beer: Actually, I prefer champagne (I'm kinda a gay man)

Favorite liquor: Rhymes with YUM...RUM.

Favorite drinking song: Whatever ridiculous bullshit spews forth in an Irish accent while I am immersed in my stooper.I am a belligerent leperchaun.

Best drunk memory or story: Breaking a whole in my futon after attempting a re-enactment of Pee-Wee Herman doing the Tequila dance, or Crashing of the back of my brothers futon and Mario just laughing his ass off. ( me drunk+ futons=bad news.)

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? I would rather have a bottle of pink Andre' champagne, then when I am toasty I'll drink your 40. Sorry.

Random fact about you: When kids eat their boogers I feel like I'll die.

j Wiggs

2009-02-22T11:31:00.000-08:00

Name: J Wiggs

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: vodka tonic

Favorite beer: Kozel... and miller lite

Favorite liquor: tequila

Favorite drinking song: anything i can sing along to

Best drunk memory or story: drinking shots of vodka and later falling asleep in the shower for 2 1/2 hours

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? whatevers available

Random fact about you: i am an MJ fanatic

Ben

2009-02-22T11:30:00.001-08:00

Name: benjamin richard heymann

Age: 20...shit

Favorite Mixed drink: gin a tonic

Favorite beer: red stripe. eat my shit...

Favorite liquor: jim beam

Favorite drinking song: anything by iggy pop/stooges

Best drunk memory or story: that must be a joke cuz most memories arent built around booze....any party at my apartment i guess

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? beer is beer, kid

Random fact about you: i hate most of the people that i know...

LAURENAAAAA!

2009-02-21T18:44:00.000-08:00

Name: Lauren a.k.a laurenaaaa

Age:19

Favorite Mixed drink: red bull/vodka

Favorite beer: tecate or blue moon w. an orange slice

Favorite liquor: absolute citron

Favorite drinking song: any sublime song ever

Best drunk memory or story: WINGIS mwahahaha must i say more?

would you rather have a 40 or a 30?: 40 st. ides duh

Random fact about you: i know every line to any friends episode ever made.

Homegirl Michela

2009-02-21T18:05:00.000-08:00

Name: Michela

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: jack and coke

Favorite beer: guinness

Favorite liquor: whiskeyy

Favorite drinking song: 213 'Gotta Find A Way'

Best drunk memory or story: hmmm most recent has to be getting so drunk that driving around with busta rhymes and his entourage at 4 in the morning seemed like a great idea

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40

Random fact about you: shia labeouf asked me out when i was 14. i said no.

Anthony

2009-02-21T16:22:00.000-08:00

Name: Anthony (Narrator of the blog)

Age: 20

Favorite Mixed drink: whiskey and coke

Favorite beer: St. Ides

Favorite liquor: whiskey

Favorite drinking song: Steal my sunshine by len. best song ever when drunk

Best drunk memory or story: This is a really really tough one. probably the night on Gregs island when me and jake almost died and probably both had alcohol poisoning.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40!

Random fact about you: I bit my nails until they bleed and use exacto blades to cut my cuticles. i cant help it.

Caroline

2009-02-21T16:21:00.000-08:00

Name: Caroline

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: soco and lime

Favorite beer: Coors Light

Favorite liquor: probably vodka, because it goes well with lots and lots of things

Favorite drinking song: Beer -RBF

Best drunk memory or story: I peed my pants while running away from my friends to a bathroom, dropped my phone in the toilet, lost my friends, took off my pants and wandered around the city lost for 2 hours with bright pink underwear and a sweatshirt tied around my waist. For some reason, a bodega sold me a six pack, which I carried in my hands. Finally I ran into a sympathetic gay couple who new where my dorm was and walked me back while holding my hands.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? 40.

Random fact about you: I had a beluga whale birthday party when I was 3.

Matt Decola

2009-02-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

Name: Pope Matthew James DeCola

Age: 19

Favorite Mixed drink: rum and coke

Favorite beer: Corona/high life

Favorite Liquor: Captain

Best drunk memory: Drinking out of matts moms vase or falling down the stairs at matts house with justin and jake and
tiki. please give me a better one of you think of one.

40 or 30: both

Random fact about me: i like drinking a beer while taking a shower. try it. a shower will never be the same again

Kristi!

2009-02-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

Name: Kristi

Age: 20 ( in one week, like you)

Favorite Mixed drink: Margarita ( i'm mexican...)

Favorite beer: Corona ( omg im so mexican maybe i should change this...)

Favorite liquor: Tequila ....

Favorite drinking song: i don't know what this means...song about drinking? or song to listen to while drinking? if its the first one, its kiss me im shitfaced. if its my fav song to listen to while drinking it's currently Why Don't You Get A Job by The Offspring haha

Best drunk memory or story: oh goshh..there are so many. well lets go with getting a gun pulled on me on avenue a while i was out in the rain (in shorts) looking for your drunk ass.

would you rather have a 40 or a 30? a fuckin 40 of st ides.

Random fact about you: i'm allergic to vodka but i fucking drink it anyway!!

KP PHONE HOME!

2009-02-21T15:16:00.000-08:00

Friday night, kristi informed me that her and lauren were drinking and that me and caroline were invited. Then she told me they had free drinks and while they were drinking cosmos i figured its better than nothing so at about 10:30ish me and caroline headed down to St Marks. We arrive to a new boy in the apartment. Alan lives next door. we start drinking and about 4 drinks in, were out of vodka and im sober. caroline gets her champagne and starts it up. after a glass shes tipsy. im not wearing a shirt becaus ti gave it to caroline to fix a spill (my fault). Kristi is on the floor eating a subway sandwhich and when shes starts to pass out, lauren asked for it. But kristi wakes up and fights for the sandwhich. I am disappointed that i am sober so i convince caroline to buy me a 40 of old e. When i get back with that 40, there is a spot on the couch open and i sit down and start talking to Bob's girlfriend, Caitlin and we get ont he topic of the Neo-conservative and liberal switch and the enviroment and all that shit. Its a fun conversation but im started to feel my 4 cosmos and the first half of my 40, so we stop talking. Kristi is still laying on the floor and she mutters "HOME!" and after a few times i realize she wants to go to bed, so i help her to bed and tuck her in. i guess the rest of the night was boring...until everyone left except me caroline and lauren. We start smoking some hookah and talking. we talk about life and whats important and like total shot boxes were real deep. Lauren has an epiphany and realizes she doesnt want to do social work. I feel happy for her. After about an hour or 2. she goes to sleep and me and caroline pass out on the couch. Very uncomfortable couch...my back still hurts.

lauren bartending

Hookah and new friends

2009-02-16T16:21:00.000-08:00

Ok not gonna lie. Not quite sure how this thursday night happened. As far a i can remember we started drinking and at 11 or so, i was drunk. we were all drunk. My first memory is someone mentioning hookah and then 5 mins later, there was a hookah on the table. We were drinking pride and clark vodka. oh yeah. we sang blink 182, big d and the kids table and other 90's songs. It was a fun and exciting night, but i dont remember it. I cant remember. basically. Really drunk, ran out of cigarettes, smoked cigarillos instead. gross.

I did however find pictures...

So this is the table where we all sat around.

This is bob and that is lauren. Bob brought the hookah.

This is sarah. shes bobs friend. She had sweet shoes.

Drinks: between 10 and 15
drunk level: 8.5 out of 10. drunk enough that 3 or 4 days later, it doesnt exist in my memory.

Homegirls, rain, Homeboys.

2009-02-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

So last night. lets see. Where to start? Bottle of smirnoff. 4 people. Bottle gone in like an hour or 2 tops. Lauren was a covert bartender who was refilling out shots before we knew we had taken the one before. it was awesome. home girl michaela was over and we watched lost while kristi cried in her room and lauren slept. kristi proceeded to interrupt everytime it was off a commercial to cry on me. At some point before lost we got a handle of 16$ plastic bottle vodka but only took like 5 shots out of it. At about 10:30 i got super depressed and angry and proceeded to slam af ew shots and take off my socks and shirt and leave the apartment. I walked around the block, smoking a cigarette until i realized it was into the filter. I saw a group of people outside a bar and asked if i could bum a cig from someone. They all said i was crazy but a girl jordan or her friend offered me a cigarette and westarted talking. we talking about why i was half naked and if i was cold and shit. shes from ridgefield. i saved her from a creepy guy by acting like ive known her my whole life. It was fun. After giving my number and promising we'd hang out, i parted ways with them and got back to lauren and kristis at about 11:45. They screamed at me saying that they went looking for me and that kristi got a gun pulled on her by a man in car. After drinking more and puking a little i wandered back in the rain and passed out in bed. Thursday was a SHITTY SHITTY day. I was so naseous all day. but its ok because we started again soon.

total drinks: 10 shots
food: a honey bun all day
Drunk level: 8.5 out of 10

5 day bender

2009-02-08T15:58:00.000-08:00

So i drank from tuesday to saturday. i will skip tuesday to friday because it consists of me drinking 40s or whiskey from noon to midnight and then wandering back to my dorm where i pass out and then go back to kristis or whoevers and drinking more. Saturday though was a bit different.

I have a girl from germany and my friend alicia from boston with me and on friday germany slept at some guys house, so at 11am me and alicia came back from my dorm and go to kristi's. I start drinking as soon as i get there. im about 4 40s in by 6 or 7 and i start to slow the drinking down. i dont want to to get too drunk to fast, theres a party in brooklyn. We go next door and kristi's neighboor dani is getting ready. she walks into the kitchen and goes, Anthony, would you like to take a shot with me. I dont think ive ever jumped up that fast. i flew to the kitchen and got shotted. this happened again a few minutes later. at about 10 or so kristi goes to retrieve her wine from teh freezer. oh no. its broken. i attempt to put the frozen wine into a pot to melt and be drank (were poor), but seeing as there is no bottom to the bottle it all falls out over my shoes and the floor. oh no. lauren hates me. so i clean it up and we start walking to the subway. it is at this point that i realize, im wasted. how did that happen. i have to run to catch up with the group. we arrive in about 15 minutes and i sit on the stair and start drinkign while waiting for the train. a few minutes later i start humming smash mouth. so does the kid in front of me. so i start singing it. a few seconds later all 8 of us are screaming smashmouth. Yeah i started that.

So train ride over, kristi goes,
'i like that shirt." to which i reply,
"i like that cardigan".
Can i have the shirt?
can i have that cardigan?
Sure
Sure.
I like that jacket.
i like THAT jacket.
can we switch jackets?
so now that i am in a cardigan and fur hooded jacket, i take a couple swigs of my 40. Were loud. by we i mean me and kristi. were trashed. We arrive at the party a few minutes later and i realize that my bestie heather is there. Awesome.
So me and kristi and lauren and alicia and germany go into the back room to smoke. within 15 minutes kristi (who had been standing next to me. Starts to pass out. i catch her and hold her up. Then i sit her down in a bean bag chair and sit next to her. Awesme baby sitting time! after a conversation with a drug dealer, a girl named betsy comes over with a sharpie and smile. OH HEEEEEEEEELL NO.

You can draw on my before you draw on her.
REALLY!?
Shes passed out, dont you dare draw on my kristi!

so i let her draw a dick on my face. Its called chivalry and gallantry thank you very much.

Guess what happened next...because your guess is as good as mine. the next thing i remember im in line for the bathroom and heather is saying theres no toilet paper, so i go on a hunt for toiloet paper for her. i cant find any but i did find a brown bag. so that was good enough. I went in next and made my self puke a little. just to make me feel better.

i put on afro man and everyone dances and cheers. yay! i see dani drinking whiskey straight from the bottle and decide that she is the most badass and intimidating woman i have ever met. I get a call from heather telling me to elt her in. I sheepishly say ok and inform her that i dont remember walking in and so i dont know how to get downstairs. after a few minutes i figure it out and retrieve her from the cold.

after an uneventful hour or so, lauren decided it was time to leave so we walk kristi up (it was difficult) and head back. we get on the train and me and lauren try to run down the car. Lauren knocks me over and i hit my shin. thanks lauren!

we got off the train and go to soup and burger. ive got a dick on my face, the place is packed, we smell like a walking bar. kristi offers to buy me food so i get a burger. Paying for the food is fucked up and kristi loses 60$ on the deal. anyways. as were leaving someone taps me on the shoulder.

Dude is it like national draw dicks on faces day?
no. i was saving my frirnd from getting drawn on.
oh cause youre like the 2nd person ive seen with a drawn dick on their face tonight.
well it is saturday.......

i dont remember the subway ride back to my dorm but i do know that at noon ish the next day, me and alicia went back down to kristis fro breakfast and i wanted to die. i was wearing tiny short shorts and my sunglasses. at one point i got up form the table and pushed between people near the door saying. excuse me, im going to go die. thanks.

Im real classy and grown'd up.

drinks : 5 40s, 2 shots of whiskey, half a bottle of wine, shot of german liqour about 20 drinks
drunk level: 9.5 out of 10

Sorry guys

2009-02-08T15:46:00.000-08:00

Once again i've hit a bit of a drunken hiccup in life. I haven't written about anything for about a month. its been a bit hectic with school. ive missed out on 20 or so nights. In summary and quickly i will say, someone shit in a bag and threw it from my window, i spray painted my wall and door and proceeded to wake up my entire hall with the smell and noise, nearly got kicked out of housing, today is the last day of my 5 day bender, been told on 3 occasions that i smell like straight whiskey by a teacher or student and also, without ruining the story about last night, got a dick drawn on my face. So that being said. I apologize for slacking recently. but ive been drunk. can you blame me?

National Hangover Day

2009-01-05T21:08:00.001-08:00

So after i talked to kristi, me and caroline head over to her apartment in St marks place and although we are an hour late, Kristi and Lauren have not drank all the booze. We promptly pour glasses of champagne. Oh this will not do, i want to get drunk tonight. I grab the bottle of tequila from the fridge and add a shot to my glass. Thats better

We decide to play Kings and after deciding on the rules, we start. By the end of game one, we have 4 bottles of champagne down. I have 2 or so extra shots of tequila. We head out for a cigarette.

On the fire escape, the guys who live next door, yell to us, WHERES THE PARTY!? so we invite them over. They arrive and we start another round of kings. I ordered pizza at some point and i am eating it. Another round of kings later, we have 6 bottles of champagne down and i am drunk. FINALLY! i recognize my happy place and stop drinking.

For unknown reasons, i am angry. Happy place gone. I grab a 40 from the fridge and sit on the stairs waiting for caroline. She is shamelessly flirting (in my eyes) with random guy number 3 and i am not happy. I drink and wait and when she comes, we silently leave. I am pissed and drunk, i openly drink my 40 while we stroll down saint marks place. Caroline stops to pee in an alley and then we arrive at astor place. The train isnt running. AWESOME LETS FUCKING WALK. We start walking and at one point she runs away from me. I hold a fucking peppy LePew pace and walk. I pass her and keep going. We make up by the time were back to her dorm and she passes out. I stay up on facebook and then i pass out too.

New years

2009-01-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

So i haven't written in a while. Been to drunk and busy. I've drank a few nights that i didnt write about. Nothing really happened, my breathalyzer got stolen, got drunk a few times...same old same old.

New years morning i wake up with the intention of pregaming for new years night. I get a bottle of jack, and i start drinking.

by about 6 it becomes apparent that i'm too ADD to pregame,o i say fuck it. We head to the party at about 9.

We arrive and i start swigging from the bottle of jack, and we watch the Twilight Zone marathon. I don't know if youve seen this show but omg. I love this show. Anyways. at about 10:30 my friend matt is passed out on the couch, and we decided to go to a loft party down the street. We brave the freezing cold weather (2 degrees) and head over. we get there and there is baout 50 15-17 year old kids out front. oh and cops. FUUUUCK THIS.
so we wait for the group to reform and i start taking swigs from my bottle on the street. I see a boy wearing no jacket. WTF IS HE THINKING. i shake his hand and ask how old they are. They reply "21." and puff out their chests. "BULLSHIT YOUR 14. Go to the party. the cops are gone".

With that our group is full and we walk back to the apartment. I realize that there area about 10 kids following us. Wtf? Im pissed. i dont want to drink with 15 year olds. When we arrive at the apartment, the kids say "where are we going?" i say, "Upstairs, first door to your left, apartment 202" and then i duck downstairs. I am a god. ALL the 15 year olds go up and all my friends go down to our apartment party. hehehe, im a bastard.

between 11:30 and midnight, i pound the bottle of jack from half full to empty and start my 22 of coors. Me, and dave and jake head upstairs to see whats up at the other parties. We go to 2 or 3 and theyre all the same. At one point i head to the bathroom, and while in line a british kid offers me a shot. At first i say no but then i pour one and we toast. Then i pour another and we take it. then we toast some champagne and i go to the bathroom. Oh no. This drunk thing crept up on me. I am officially drunk. I crack open my 2nd 22 oz. and start drinking more. More drinks equals more liquid equals diluted drinks right? Well thats what i thought. After a few more trips to a few parties, me and caroline decide to leave. We hop on the train and get back to the dorm at about 2 or 3. I feel like a loser being back so early, but as soon as i get up stairs, I get naked, puke once or twice and hop in the bathtub. OMG I love baths. I shut my eyes and then im being awakened by caroline telling me not to fall asleep...whoops, too late. After nearly drowning in a bathtub once before due to liqour i decide to get out of the damn tub.

I crawl into bed with caroline and pass the fuck out. I awake with no ill feelings and receive a call from Kristi and lauren. They have a shit ton of extra liqour left over and want to get rid of it. I'm sooooo on that. We make plans to hang out later in the night. Here we go again.

Saturday night. Milford and norwalk

2008-12-21T10:20:00.001-08:00

So I call up schuyler at about 8 or 830pm and we head to milford CT. My co worker at the bar is having a party so we go over there. Me and schuyler arrive and eat chicken, drink, eat meatballs and tell stories about our friends. to tell some quickly, his friend was stabbed twice over the course of 2 weeks and had a frosty knocked on the ground, he was in the middle of a riot in astor place, and he got a finger in his ass at a canadian whorehouse.

We get bored and i call up caroline and see if shes bored. She is. We decide to meet up and make the amazing decision to go to my ex girlfriends party. So we trek to norwalk, and i walk in and i see a few kids i havent seen in ages. I also see a Beirut table. I call next and take off my jacket. I make my way around saying hi to everyone i know, and i grab a bottle of bacardi and make a rum and coke.

I start drinking and no sooner do i start drinking than i'm up on the table. My ex shoots a cup and i shoot right after her, making it into the same cup. Beirut we win.

***memory Lapse***
Someone challenges me to a break dancing competition. I do a little bit and get some claps. Then i decide to try something i havent in a while. A one handed hand stand while grabbing my ankles. I suceed after a try or 3. They clap and cheer. I am loved.

***Memory lapse***
my friend ean and i start putting on songs that we love and screaming the words and dancing. We play Leftover crack, Morning GLory, Against me!, blink 182 among others. We are told to stfu and stop jumping.

***Memory Lapse***
I'm in line for the bathroom. Caroline is in front of me. She goes in first and turns around and says "Youre coming in too". I pause and go in, we tell the next person that they are welcome too. They come in and he remarks "this is the weirdest thing ive ever done. I find this funny and say so. I am pee shy so when its my turn, it takes me a while.

***memory Lapse***
I call next on table and me and my ex play again. About 5 minutes into the game. our opponents ask if they get it in the same cup, do they win. I say yes and one shoots. Makes the cup, as soon as the ball is in, i grab the cup. On the way to my mouth another ball shoots in. I am sooo pissed. I walk away for 2 seconds and turn around and start pounding the cups. I drink one cup, throw it across the table. Drink another cup, throw it. I do this for the full rack. I take off my hat and scream FUUUUUUUUCK. then i go to the opponents rack and start pounding there cups. I am stopped and told its ok.

***memory Lapse***
I blow a .21 bac. Im extremely drunk.

***memory lapse***
I am sitting in the window sill with a snowball in my hand. my ex is yelling at me that if that ends up in her apartment im kicked out. So instead i just bit into the snowball and swallow it.

***Memory Lapse***
Schuyler picks me up by the leg and arm and carries me to the stairs where he opens the door and drops me down the stairs. I hit my head and back but land on my feet and run back up the stairs where he flips me upside down and pulls me to the living room.

***Memory Lapse***
We decide it is time to leave and so me schuyler and caroline head to the car. Care is really drunk (.23) and im half her BAC (.12) So i say that when we get to schuylers, im driving me and Care home. Care doesnt like this idea and fights me for it.

We get to exit 21 and schuyler stops at McDonalds. While he orders me and care go to pee. She pees practically in a dumpster and go around a corner. We get really wierd looks when we emerge from the alley.
Schuyler goes home and i drive us back to my house. My parents are still up and i talk to them for a few minutes and then we go downstairs. we watch tv and she is really drunk. I walk her upstairs to my room and put her into bed. 5 minutes later she comes back downstairs. Apparently she ran into the wall opposite my bedroom door. She wants a cigarette. I put a blanket around her and go outside. weve got no shoes on. its 20 degrees out, its snowy and rainy. Im in a teeshirt. We finish the cigarette and i tuck her in again. I head downstairs and half asleep i watch Into the blue deep or blue deep or deep blue. some stupid Paul Walker movie.

We wake up at about 9 or 10 and watch tv until she leaves at noon. She left her phone in norwalk and had to go get it.

Drunk level- at my hieght i was at a solid 8. perfection (.21-max .17 average)
Drinks- i cant even count them all. 3 rum and cokes, a beer, about 5 or 6 shots in milford, rum and coke in norwalk. 3 games of beruit, 3 coors lights, Probably about 19 total

Friday night

2008-12-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

I went to Madison Square Park on friday afternoon and had a huge snowball fight with random people walking through the park. I got freezing cold and wet and after losing a camera lens in the snow (SOO PISSED), me caroline and carey went back to my dorm and started drinking. I only had vodka and no mixer so vodka and water it was. caroline had a 40 of colt 45 and carey was still hung over from the night before.

After a few drinks we head out to go to the bar and to a bookstore. Its like a fucking puzzle every time we cross a street. there is slush and puddles and wetness and very few islands of ice to jump on. We succeed when we get to the bar, we talk for a bit and drink 4 rounds or so. Carey informs us of the bum wines of australia and tell us some aussie slang. I say GIIIIT FAAAAACKED like 5 million times and it gets annoying really fast. At 10:30 we head back to my dorm to sign carey in overnight, and then head out the the bar again. We try one but they are carding so we end up down in the lower east side at this sweet fucking bar called mars bar. Its a shithole in the wall. Graffiti everywhere, no windows, one bare light bulb and an amazing selection of punk in the jukebox.

We order a round and Carey flirts it up with the bartender, ending in a free drink for her. I smell pot and i comment how something smells good. A tall fat latino man behind me says " i got blow and pot. blow and pot"
"Kind sir, i would love some but i am broke"
After another round, me and Caroline go out for a cigarette. The same man is right behind me and offers me the green hit of his blunt. Why thank you very much.

After another round we leave and head back to our dorms, Caroline goes to bed and me and Carey head back to my place. Carey is not feeling good, so i tuck her in and she passes out. I eat cheese balls and watch tv on my computer and then fall asleep.

I wake up at 11am, and pack to go home. Carey is still asleep so i leave her a note and head to carolines. I arrive and start eating jello shots from last weeks. i eat a full ice cube tray of them, and then i get a call from my mom saying that she is almost at the dorms. I'm excited to go back to CT. I have a party for a co-worker on saturday night and it should be fun.

Drunk level-7 out of 10
drinks-10

Brooklyn vs Australia

2008-12-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

I am hosting another couch surfer from australia this week. My classes ended wedensday at 5. At 5:30 Carey arrived at my dorm and nearly my first question is, "You want a drink?" i pour 2 tequila and orange juices and we start drinking. She hops into the shower and i pour myself another. At 6:15, we head to applebees with jacky and Caroline. We eat and whatever, coldstones and whatnot.

We get back to my dorm and start drinking again. I got a free bottle of tequila in return for printing this girls final in photo class soooo. Anyways at about 8:30 we head to brooklyn and go to ben and gideons. We arrive and after i clean 2 cups and pour more drinks. always more drinks.

We start to watch You better watch out but no one seems interested in a movie that the tv describes as "harry sees his dad sleep with him om while dressed as santa and then kills children on his naughty list"...Awesome movie. People are complaining though so we put on leprechaun 5. We barely get passed Ice-t breaking into a basement with platform heels, a fro and 70's style pants, before someone says its boring and we switch movies again. This time is Alpha Dog, and while we talk through the whole thing, we still realize what's going on and at the end, when everyone is silent after one of the saddest endings of a movie, Ben goes "DUDE THEY'RE TOTALLY MAKING A TRON 2"
Ben...You're a dick. Such a dick.

More drinks, corner store for more mixers...More drinks. more than half a pack of cigarettes later, the people from manhattan start leaving, so me and carey leave with them. We get on the train and jake looks like his going to fall over. I find this hilarious and laugh for a solid 4 stops. Everytime the train slows down, jake tilts but catches himself. Heather starts a game with jake,
"how many fingers am i holding up?"
Chelsea cuts in and says "THREE!"
sure enough...its three.
"and now?"
"ONE!"
yup...
this goes on for a few more numbers before chelsea gets it wrong and the game ends. Jake starts rambling about gideon drawing his tattoo and how hes too busy being chelsea's BF and that we should cut off chelseas legs..We decide to go to gallery openings the following night and they all get off except me and Carey. We get back to my room and watch texas chainsaw massacre which shes never seen. I blow a .16 and she blows a .14. I figure this is as good of a time as any to end the night so we do.

We wake up at 7 or so and cant sleep, but somehow we do eventually. We wake up at noonish and i grab a cigarette and pour myself a shot. Awesome cure for a hangover.

Drinks: a little over half a bottle of tequila
Drunk level: Perfect 7 or 8 out of 10

Finals are finally over party.

2008-12-13T12:03:00.001-08:00

Brooklyn last night to the mckibbon lofts where a few of my friends live. I arrive at about 930 with Caroline and her roommate Jackie. Theres only about 7 people there and were just watching mission impossible III. In 45 minutes, the doorbell rings and our group doubles. 20 minutes later we get another 7 or 8 people. The lights go off, and the music starts.

It was pretty much a boring night. we sat and drank. I blew a .15 at the hieght of my night and i drank 4 24's of PBR.

At about 130, caroline and jackie want to leave so i say that i will go with them. We get to the subway and we sit for 15 minutes before we realize the L ends in bedford for some reason. FUUUUUUUCCCCK. So we hail a cab. When we get out i realize i just say Jackies phone in the cab, so i yank the door back open as the guy is driving away so i can get the phone. We go back to their dorm at NYU and we make nachos, and pizza, and chicken pot pie, and it was awesome. I pass out after feeding jackie nachos and chicken pot pie crust.

Drinks: four 24's
Drunk level: 6 out 10

Work, Puke and feeling like i was 5

2008-12-06T09:26:00.001-08:00

Friday night, i was slated to work at the bar that i used to work at. I show up at 10 and by 11, its all set up and i'm pouring my first drink. i toss 3 shots of whiskey into a glass with an equal amount of coke. By 12, ive had 3 of these. Looking back, i should have realized that that means 9 shots in 1 hours. Oh shit.

Its at this point, that Crystal the bartender turns to me and goes "Jager bombs." so i pour us some jager bombs. Nothing exciting happens, i go outside and smoke a cig and when i get back, I do a shot of whiskey with richi and crystal. A few minutes later, JAGER BOMB. I take a break until about 1:15, when i do another shot of whiskey, followed by a vodka and red bull. from 1:30 to about 2 i sip on another redbull and vodka

So lets recap...
Whiskey - 11 Shots (9 of which in whiskey and cokes)
Vodka- 2 shots (Vodka and redbull)
Jager- 2 shots (jager and redbull)

So anyways. Im cleaning. Im trashed. It's started to catch up to me. I go outside and my buddy schuyler is outside in his pajama pants. I invite him in and hand him a broom. I can deal with sweeping. I start cleaning glasses, and crystal tells me to come over to her house with her cousin and sister. Drunkenly i say sure and quickly finish up cleaning. If you can call it cleaning. Its probably filthy. I didnt empty the garbage. Didn't touch the bathroom...Didn't clean anything. Basically i got paid last night, to drink.

Anyways, I call my mom to tell her that i wont be bringing the car home tonight. She doesn't like this idea and tells me that i'm drunk and says shes going to pick up the car. I dont care or know what is going on. I'm in the parking lot in crystal car. And then it happens. AWESOME I LOVE THE SPINS. i open the door and puke on the floor. it is almost straight alcohol. After puking and drama that im not going to explain, my mom pick me up and we drive home. I feel quite sober now. I get home and pass out in my brothers bed.

Its 12:54 right now. I stopped drinking at 2:30 and i just blew a .03. 10 hours later, i still like 2 or 3 drinks in my system.

Drunk level: 9 out of 10
Drinks: 15

10 day bender

2008-12-06T09:21:00.000-08:00

The last 10 days have been tough. I've drunk every night for 10 days. I didnt write about a couple of nights because they consisted of sitting alone and drinking unti i fell asleep.

After suffering 2 of the worst hang overs of my life, puking in a parking lot (ill write THAT story later), being pee'd on, taking 19 shots in a few hours, i've decided to take a brief hiatus from drinking. I feel like shit. Im tired all the time, can barely stomach food, and i get more and more depressed everyday.

Don't worry though. This experiment in sobriety with be over in a couple weeks.

Thanks for reading.

Gallery Openings again.

2008-12-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

At 5:10 on thursday, Caroline came over with food. I ate and poured me and caroline a drink. After im done, we leave and head to chelsea. We get to chelsea and walk into a building. We wander around until i find a fire extinguisher. Awesome....i take it off the wall and start spraying it. It tastes bad. We drop it and run. As we are going down, we run into jake and heather.

After a few galleries, me and Caroline lose jake and heather so we just say fuck it and walk back to my dorm. Caroline has an awesome idea. "LETS RUN!" so we do. ITS A HORRIBLE IDEA. half a block later, we are winded and dying. I tell her to carry me, she says no and tells ME to carry HER. so i do.

We get back to my room and i grab the bottle of vodka out of thefridge. Im out of orange juice though so i put it back. I turn on arrested development and after an episode we decide we need more drinks. We walk to the corner store and get some 40's. As for the rest of the night, all we do is drink our 40's, watch arrested development and talk about Conor Obrest being a depressed little lamb that we want to have as a pet. Then there is a knock on my dorm door. Wtf? so i stash the beer and open the door. I forgot to sign her in overnight. Its 11:30. shit.

See the thing is, i have to sign people in before 11:00 and let them know that the person is staying overnight, or else they cant stay over. So i had to sign an emergency overnight and now i cant sign people in to the building for 2 weeks. Whatever, it was worth it.

Drunk level: 5 out of 10
Drinks: probably about 5 glasses of wine, a 40 and 3 shots of vodka

Mondays...with kristi....and lauren....sort of...

2008-12-01T14:22:00.000-08:00

We wake up at about 10am and lauren and kristi are drinking the left over 40s. After an hour or so i grab mine and start drinking. when we are finished (1p.m.) We leave with the intention of buying me a new breathalyzer, getting food and then getting trashed. RuuuuuuuL trashed. So we go to best buy. they have no breathalyzers. Fuck me. We go to outback and eat. I see a walgreens. Sweet. I buy my breathalyzer and we head back to me room. Lauren is hungover or sick or something. she sits down and after deliberation, me and kristi go to the liqour store and get smirnoff. Before we leave, we play with the breathalyzer. It is fun. Lauren is at a .05, i am at a .03 and kristi didnt blow. Awesome. Lauren is out of commision for the night so Me and kristi go get smirnoff and head back to the room. We start a tally for the night,

Anthony
7 shots-.07
8- .09
9 -.11
10-.10
11-.11
14-.12
15-.17
19-.2

Kristi
7 shots-.16
8- .20
9-.17
10-.22
11-.23
14-.23
15-.27

That was our tally for the night. The story is as follows.

Lauren decides to leave because she isn't feeling good so me and kristi go out. We plan to meet some friends from australia at a hookah bar. When we get there, kristi hits the chair and starts to pass out. I have to slap her to wake her up. We wait for abotu 30 minutes and then i call Kamil because he lives right upstairs. When we pay, The two australian girl are just walking in so we grab them and head upstairs. I have no mixers so i just drink shots of vodka in a shot of water. It tastes like ass but oh well.

We play some Call of Duty 5 and then the australian girls leave. They are in their mid 20's and dont seem interested in a quiet 19-22 year olf get together. I am to tired to care. I Dont really feel drunk, but i feel like i should. Kristi texts me and asks to leave.

Lauren apparently went back to the bronx instead of going to CT. Kristi's parents dont like this and tell her not to come home. This upsets kristi. We talk on the way back to my dorm. I make mac and cheese and she passes out right after finishing. I watch tv and then pass out too.

I have class at 9am. I am tired but not hungover. Awesome. I love being 19. I can drink 19 shots in like 4 or 5 hours and yet not feel drunk or hungover. Great.

Alcohol may or may not have any effect on me....hmmm..This may be bad...

Sunday night with Kristi and lauren.

2008-12-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

So, my mom drives me and kristi and lauren into the city. When we arrive, i crack open the bottle of wine. Kristi and lauren open the Skyy and we start drinking. We listen to music and dance. Sublime is awesome. I throw on my 3 piece suit jacket and a straw hat. good times. Long story short, my wine is gone and their vodka is almost gone. Lauren is tired. We order pizza and after FOREVER it gets here. We eat pizza and then decide to go get 40's. We need beer. We get teh 40's and start drinking. again.

Lauren is asleep by then so me and kristi crawl into bed and watch law and order until we both fall asleep. Boring. I know. Im sorry.

The before....

And the after.

Me. probably one of the only pictures you'll ever see of me.

This is kristi and lauren filming, dancing and singing.

Drinks-Bottle of wine and a few shots
Drunk level- 5 out of 10

Saturdays at kristi's house

2008-12-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

Its saturday and i decide to make a day out of the drinking. I am hung over as shit. I go to work with my step dad and after nearly falling off a roof and puking at the dentists office, I call kristi. She isnt off work until 5 so i take a nap. I curl up in bed. More hungover than ive ever probably been. At 5, its on. I get to kristis at about 6 but we dont start drinking until about 9 when the alcohol arrives. We start with vodka and pomegranate juice. I feel like a fag. I drink it anyways.

The night goes slow. We start watching tv and drinking. Its boring. After about 2 or 3 hours, we play apples to apples. I should tell you all that i absolutely am the king of apples to apples. I win of course.

after an hour of apples to apples drinking games, we stop and shortly after, kristi passes out. Despite laurens best efforts she passes out. Oh well. Cest la vie. So i get on the other couch and lay down. intent on being comfortable if only a few people are awake. Next thing i know. I am being awoken to the warm sensation of something on my ass. Omg. is this chick pissing? I check...Sure enough. the girl that was on the couch with me had just pee'd on my ass. AWESOME. i get paper towels and then realize...What the fuck am i supposed to do with them? Dab her ass dry? wtf. So i wake her up.

"You just pee'd..."
"I KNOW, ISNT THAT SAD?!"

Yes it is sad. I take off my clothes and curl up on the OTHER couch until i get new pants. i pass out and so does she. I wake up in the morning to an empty room. Kristi and lauren come and bug me and i inform them of last nights festivities. They find it hilarious. They decide to come into the city, and they drive me home so i can get my shit together.

I should take this time to say that when i woke up i immidietly grabbed my drink from the night before and started drinking again. I took the bottle of wine that we had home wiht me for the next night. In the car with kristi and her 13 year old sister, i remark that i may be an alcoholic.

Drinks- Glass of wine and a few mixed vodka drinks
Drunk level-3 out of 10

CT Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T08:04:00.000-08:00

I can home for thanksgiving on friday night. At about 9pm i went over to my friend Matts house where we had all our parties in highschool. I show up and everyone is in the living room talking. Somehow as soon as i get there is it ruit time and we all go downstairs to the GodFather (ruit tables name). I get 3rd game with Ben and i sit and wait. While i wait I put on this pimp brown plaid jacket with a fur head and i start dancing with dana all pimp and shit. We laugh and realize we are white and i get on the table with ben.

We set up a 15 cup game and start playing. Ben decides he is driving and doesnt want to drink. Fuck. Alright. I decide to gotta clean up and i bounce ad get it in matt's drink cup. Beruit. We win. so after that game, I dont really remember what i did.

***memory lapse***
Double fisting PBRs

***Memory Lapse***
Im playing ruit with kristi. I make 3 cups in a row and the opponents tell me im leaning because i walk past the corner of the table to shoot. I ask them if i can stand here and they say yes. I shoot and i make it. I love being me.

***memory lapse***
Cops are here for some reason.
"kyle, you are the only person here i care about." and then i pull her into the boiler room where we smoke a cigarette and wait for the cops to be gone. I open the door and everyone is like right there and they all say "are you smoking a cig?". I shut the door and continue smoking.

***Memory Lapse***
Im upstairs with a beer in the pocket, and one in my hand, Nick is doing shots and hes a dick and doesnt give me one. When he turns around, i grab the bottle chug for a few seconds and put it back on the table. He has no idea. HAH ASSHOLE.

***memory lapse***
Im climbing the ladder in the garage to the beer stash. Double fisting...AGAIN...

***memory lapse***
Someone has soaked woodchips in captain morgans over night...why? i dont know but i throw some in a shot glass and try it. tastes like woodchips and rum. Go figure...

***memory lapse***
Im cutting up vicodin and doing lines. Im pretty sure this was before the capt morgans. but yeah...

***memory lapse***
I cut up like 2 more vics and a few xanax i think for other people.

Ok. end of the night. Im on the bathroom floor. I'm not puking but im real comfy. Dana comes in and starts peeing. we say a few words and then she leaves. I get up and say goodbye to everyone there, and pass out downstairs.

I wake up at 930 am and matt is waking me up. I go upstairs and sit on the couch with a giant cup of water. Were real hungover. we go outside for a cigarette. after i finish i lay down on the pavement in his driveway. a few minutes later my mom shows up. Awesome. Hungover as shit.

She tells me she is going to clean me and my brothers teeth. Fuck. Way hungover. want to die. Please kill me. I get to the office and go down to the breakroom and sleep. I puke a little but im good. She cleans my teeth and i go to work with my step dad. Fuck this, Im dieing. I get home at 2pm and lay down in bed and sleep until kristi calls me. She wants to drink. Uh oh. here we go again...

Drinks-at least 15 that i can rememeber. We think closer to 20
Drunk level: 8 out of 10

I've been slacking...

2008-11-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

Since i last wrote, i've drank about 5 times. i've been slacking, i know. SO I'll start at the middle and skip some boring nights.

a few sundays ago, i took the train back from CT, and i drank the whole train ride. I just sat there, and drank my whiskey while sitting on my bag, in the middle of the train. i was horribly depressed and felt like 'that guy' at the bar. The one staring into his glass for 5 hours until he falls over and passes out. Luckily i didnt. with great dignity, i got up and walked back to my room.

Last monday, my friend Kristi came to NYC to visit me. We got drunk. Go figure. We drank for a while in my room, (whiskey and arizona iced tea) and once we were warm enough to go for a walk, we wandered down to st marks place. We grabbed some pizza and i walked into a bodega to grab a beer. as im reaching for a thing of colt 45, a big homeless man says :

"naw dude, if you like that colt 45 stuff, try this. Highest alcohol in a malt liqour you can get!"
so of course i grab a can of ST. Ides and walk to pay. The man asks for money and i toss him $0.50. I pay for the bear and i sit up on my stoop and drink. me and kristi decide to head back and i finish my beer and start on the water bottle of whiskey i brought.

We get back to my room and pass out. Boring night.

Then last weekend, i went back to CT to work, and ended up at my friend matt's house. I'm greeted with hugs and handshakes and after only a few minutes, i hop onto the ruit table with matt as my partner. we wreck shit for 3 games, but i made the mistake of take break to roll a spliff and smoke. So after that i couldnt play this damn game. I sat and sipped my whiskey and beer and smoked more.

Eventually my friend dana get her friend to come. This guy works at a pharmacy. He came in waving bottles of pills. He was tossing out Xanax and Vicoden like a fucking beauty queen float tossing out confetti and candy. It was awesome. i snorted some vicoden and sat on the couch for an hour rotating a bowl and spliff with matt and this girl Audrey.

After while i hopped back on the ruit table and im not sure if i won or lost, but eventually i found matt's couch and fell asleep.

I'm awoken at 9 am to sound of my phone. Its my step dad telling me hes on his way to get me so we can go to work. I say fine. and go back to sleep. Its about 25 degrees outside and im out working, hungover and tired, wearing canvas shoes. It sucked.

This is kyle catching skittles we used to make skittle vodka. It was nasty

This is dana. say oh hai!

More Dana.

Momma Lauren, geoff, frank and the illusive Kristi

And finally...matt. THE Matt Parry.

Um...lets see. since i last wrote, i finished off the rest of my dubra handle and a handle of jim bean. I drank another night or 2 in CT but i didnt feel like writing about them. They were akward and uneventful. Ex-girlfriend trying to talk to me while im sitting on the bed that she slept with my best friend on? yeaaaaahhh.. no thanks.

Gregs Lake House (HIGHSCHOOL STORIES)

2008-11-10T20:00:00.001-08:00

Greg’s Lakehouse

This is a story that is about a year old.

I get invited to Greg Overfield’s lakehouse where there is an island and a boat and beer and fun. We drive about an hour to Old Lyme Connecticut and when we arrive we go out on the boat and blah blah blah. Fast forward to about 8 oclock at night when we load his boat up with about four 30’s , a 12 of corona, hot dog buns and cigarettes. We get to the island in about 3 trips ( there is 4 people per trip). When we are all finally on the island we realize it is cold. We tell Matt Parry to make us a fire. Hes a fucking boy scout, he should have that shit on lock right? WRONG. Takes the dude like 45 minutes to make a fire. Anyways, in the meantime, we’ve all started drinking. The night is a year ago and I cant remember it in a logical linear path so instead. Heres random events from the night.

We divide the island into 2 parts, the Beef Zone and the No Beef Zone. These divisions are made because Matt Parry and David start arguing and fighting. I walk in between them and say “no beef dude, don’t bring beef to the island” People then all pick sides and either say thigns like “beef free or no beef” or they scream “ALL BEEF ALL THE TIME. USDA GRADE A BEEF’. The no beef zone is a tarp on the ground where 4 or 5 of us sit and talk quietly about life and stare at the stairs. When we move, if we touch another dude we say no homo and stupid bro shit like that. Its fun. We are all drunk. The beef zone on the other hand are screaming, getting naked, skinny dipping, wrestling and being belligerent. I am extremely depressed this night. I waned from the fire to the tarp and back many times. I’m hunched over like Quasimodo with a blanket on my back and a cigarette in my lips. Put my feet in the fire because it feels good to hurt them. Total emo shit. But whatever. Shit happens, and girls suck.

Someone drinks matts coronas, he is ANGRY. ANGRY PARRY IS ANGRY. We laugh at him and walk away.

Dana (beef zone) hits on her ex Matt Decola (No beef zone) and we collectively tell her to choke on a dick.

Dana (beef zone) goes skinny dipping with my best friend jake. They say they didn’t have sex, but I find a red thong on the boat in the morning….believe what you may.

Dana and Matt Parry wrestle. Half naked.

Greg Overfield passes out early and we roll him to the corner of the island.

Someone goes out for a cigarette run at about 2 am. It takes them forever to get back.

I smoke an entire pack of American spirits in about 2 hours.

Me and jake finish a 30 and a half.

No one brought blankets so all 9 or 10 of us that are sill awake pile into matts tent and we all pass out somewhat belabored. Jake spills a beer under the tent and we are all cold all night. Fuck you Jake. Fuck you. I know youre reading this. That shit was cold.

In the morning jake looks like he is dead. He barely moves and we carry him to the boat. Matt parry is still asleep and someone takes his tent down and leaves it on him. Its hilarious although eh doesn’t think so. He roid rages and we laugh.

Me and greg go out for bacon egg and cheeses. We are supposed to come right back and give everyone theres but we decide to just eat ours there. It is totally worth the angry faces that greet us when we get back.

I drive home with matt decola and jake. Me and jake are dead. Matt goes to a skatepark and bikes for a bit. I take one look at the park and think that it’s a better idea if I just go back to sleep in his trunk so I do.

All in all the night was amazing. Despite being cold. Drunk, depressed, hungover and half dead.

boston night 2

2008-11-10T19:59:00.000-08:00

On Saturday we wake up at about 10 am and go visit Nancy at her work at about noon. Nancy pours me a bailys and coffee, I think I love Nancy. After were done eating im no long hung over and I feel great. I decide that I can live in boston if need be. We get back to alicia’s and she passes out all day long. At about 11 we head to my friend meagans house. Meagan and me swam together for about 8 years and she was the manager of my high school swim team for 3 years. Meagan is like my sister and when I get there she shows off my rib tattoo about every 3 mintues.

About 4 or 5 beers in, I go outside and smoke a cigarette. I make friends with 2 girls and a guy who are out front smoking too. One of the girls is very drunk and falls down on the stairs. They invite me upstairs to the wrestling party that is going on. I agree that this could be fun and I join them up there.

When I get up side is a typical college party. Beer pong, loud music, bros and ho’s. I try to get on the ruit table but the ball went out the window 10 minutes ago. Damn, instead I tell the guy who brought me upstairs “any chance I can get a drink from someone?” he tracks down a bottle of vodka and fills a shot glass and then hands it to me. I drink it and because he is pouring out shots for about 7 people, doesn’t notice me putting the shot glass back on the table and he refills it and hands it to me again. I do this again. I totally snaked 3 shots from this pour boy. After everyone takes their shot I say that I have to go back downstairs and that they just texted me and miss me. I tell him to come down and then I leave.

When I get back downstairs everyone likes my story and laughs. I am happy. I Realize we are listening to shitty music and I jump on the 3 ipods that are there on the table. I find 3 good songs on each ipod and start playing DJ. Everyone is pumped about my selections. I feel happy again. I sing ludacris and NWA. Everyone is impressed that I know the lyrics to EVERYTHING. I keep this going until me Alicia and this girl Christine go downstairs for a cigarette. When we get back upstairs, Everyone is gone or asleep. After about 20 mintues Alicia says shes going to leave and that I can stay if I want. I do want to. Alicia leaves and I sit in the kitchen talking to Christine about music and shit. I’m impressed by her ipod she has hanson and xbxrx. This is an odd combo. I show her a few bands and about 6 oclock we look at each other and say. Its could be dawn right now. That could be sunlight. At about 7 she says shes going to bed. I’m ready to start drinking now and I sit on the couch for a while before I decide I should probably just go back to Alicia’s. Alicia tells me not to hook up with Christine and I decide that this is a good idea and that I don’t really want to. So instead, I walk back to alicias at 7:15 am. I arrive at alicias and after an hour long discussion of why I am a horrible person and why I should probably never leave my hour again, we fall asleep.

Drinks:12 or 15…not sure
Drunk level:5 out of 10

Boston night 1

2008-11-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went to boston to visit my friend Alicia at northeastern university. I arrived at about 6 pm on Friday and at about 7 we headed out with her friend nancy. Nancy goes on a mega beer run and gets four 30’s of pbr. We start drinking. At about 5 beers I am feeling sober and over my hang over from Thursday night. At his point we head out to Alicia and nancys friends apartment.

We get to the apartment and I open another beer. I feel akward, I don’t know anyone, but then I see someone setting up a beruit table so I hop on. My partner is a tall effeminate man who has probably never played again. He barely knows the rules. We are down like 1 cups to 4 cups when they sink our last cup. I miss my shot but my partner makes 3 in a row before losing. We decide that we win no matter what they say. I get off the table and drink another beer while changing the music to good music. We listen to J Dilla and Bad brains so I am happy. Alicia leaves for a bit and I am wholly alone. But that’s ok I have PBR and we are friends.

When Alicia returns we jump on the table win a game! WOOT! At least I think we did. I cant remember. Oh well. Were both fairly drunk and Alicia says she is tired so we start walking back to her dorm. Her feet hurt so drunkenly she takes off her shoes and hands them to me, I put a finger through her belt loop and guide her back to her room. As soon as we get back we are both asleep.

Drinks: 12
Drunk level: 7 out of 10

Drinking in a confessional

2008-11-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

The first thursday of every month they rotate the exhibitions in the galleries in Chelsea. To celebrate and get everyone ou tto the galleries, they give out free wine and beer. This is amazing. Last night at about 5 oclock i poured my self a very stiff sunny D and vodka (gotta love moms, buying you sunny d and shit!). At about 5:30 it is gone and me and my friend paul begin to walk to chelsea. 6 oclock and we are there. i have to pee so fucking bad so i rush into a corner and go. Paul remarks, "remind me not to shake your hand". I remark "more drinks". We walk into a gallery with a bunch of rich looking assholes. Were wearing jeans and tshirts, theyre all wearing suits. This will be fun. We walk into the drink room and grab some white wine. Wine? Oh no. You see, me and wine love each other and yet we fight. I like to drink it all and it likes to get me so trashed that i cant function.

There is a ping pong table made from shiny metal, me and paul agree that'd be an awesome Beirut table. We finish a glass or two and decide to find another gallery, we walk next door where there are a bunch of shityy abstract paintings on the wall, suddenly music starts playing and a bunch of 16 year olds start doing wierd african dance. I grab a drink. The man asks me if i am of age, i smile drunkenly and say yeah. he doesnt believe me but he gives me and paul a drink. This gallery blows and alcohol is helping. I decide we need to go across the street.

Across the street we walk up a few flights of stairs and we reach a whole new areana of galleries. Small galleries, all right next to each other. AWESOME. We walk into the first one, we realize there are NO DRINKS so we quickly leave. The next one as soon as we walk in a lady says, Hello there are drinks in the back. I can tell were going ot be friends. I walk to the back grab MORE WINE and look at the paintings. they are marble dust and acrylic with photography interwoven in. Its interesting, but it may just be because i am drunk. Im already about 8 drinks in and its not even been an hour. This night HAS to end badly.

We wander into a new gallery that is packed with people and everyone has yuengling bottles in there hands. SWEET. i hunt down the cooler and crack on open. This is amazing. no more shitty wine. The photos in that gallery are all really small and precious i think they were all dont on a 4x5 field camera with a Polaroid back. Anyways. We drink 2 of those and wander back into the hall. This is when a door opens and reveals loud techno, movie screens, bud light, and a church confessional. Im all over that. i walk in, chug the rest of my beer and promptly go grab another. Im denigrated to pointing and saying please to get my beer. There are two video screens, each playing a video of a girl with a horse head dancing and stripping while a guy talks over it. It sounds like he is talking about raping her. Its really interesting. I ask the guy in front if i can go into the confessional. He says yes. I am excited. i hop in and after a few seconds someone else hops in the other side.

I ask her what her sins are, she says what are yours? i say , No i am the priest. She cant circumvent my logic. She never really tells me her sins, but we instead talk about religion and its bearing on free will and personal happiness and existentialism. after abotu 5 minutes, more people have been trying to get in, so she tells me to come to her side so someone else can get in. So i do. i stand in her booth and we talk for a few more minutes before i realize that i need more beer. I say "i need more beer". I think she takes offense to this, because she disappears. Whatever, fuck her then. I came out for beer really.

Anyways, i go back into the confessional and talk to a few more people, one couple actually hooks up in the booth, and im fairly certain i saw him get a bj. I feel dirty. One girl tells me im going to hell for saying i hate jesus. I laugh in her face very loudly and then leave. I grab paul and we start the trek back to my dorms. i get to the street and realize, i cant see straight, DAMN YOU WIIIIIIINE!!!!! about 3 blocks from the galleries, im falling down drunk, literally. i fell down between 2 cars and broke my glasses again (they were already broken but the glue broke). i fell down a few more times and paul had to "no homo" carry me down the street. we get to blender theater and i grab negatives from Cute Girl ( i have a midterm due at 3 oclock the next day...i havent started, but i figured id do it drunk) she hands me the box and leaves. She isnt amused by my drunken stupor. Some other girl is though. Some girl starts hitting on me and paul. Paul is begging for a kiss and im saying dude no. dont do it. Even through my drunken wine/beer goggles i can tell she is a chubby. He remarks about how he'll need a chubby chaser. after getting the Chubbies number, we walk to the dorm and i put him in my room and then walk down to the photo building.

Luckily i dont fall on my way to the photo building. I get there and grab my stuff, and get into the darkroom. I lay down under the enlarger and fall asleep. I am awoken a few minutes later to my friend jenny waking me up.i stand and try to enlarge a photo. this is fucking difficult. i realize i have no photo paper, i grab all my shit and leave. i tell jenny to make sure all my shit is clean, and then i walk back to the dorms and pass out.

Drinks: 12 or 13
drunk level: 9.5 no puking but im pretty cocked.
time span: 3 hours.

Halloween Weekend.

2008-11-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

Since my last post i have drank but its only been a few nights and a few drinks per night.

Halloween night i had class until 6 so at 5 i went for a walk with a girl from my class and we smoked a little and then headed back to class. I'm feeling wicked high and we head back to my room where we smoke more and drink a bit.

At about 10:15 I head to brooklyn with cute girl in tow. When we arrive, i am really high, and not drunk at all. i start my 40 and roll a spliff. The party is dead. there is only about 10 people there tops. From here on, the night is just a series of events. Here are the images i saw and the events i remember.

Drinking my 40, taking photos.

Suddenly there is about 60-70 people in this apartment and its nuts. I look across the room and there is a kid perched on a futon with a white wife beater on, bug glasses with a glowstick behind them and a plaid furry bomber hat on. He has a bottle of jack daniels in his hand and is waving it around while 3 girls make out underneath him.

Some kid is trying to give away a swig from his bottle of whiskey and at first i walk by, but then i decide...fuck it. I grab the bottle and take a few gulps.

Im out in the hallway taking photos and someone asks me what i am. My reply is "Im just wicked fucked up", and he puts a bottle of sky vodka to my lips and doesnt take it down until theres at least 3 shots in my tummy.

Im pretty fucked up and i have magically acquired a few adderal pills. i snort 2 and im magically ok again.

I'm taking more photos and my friends girlfriend is looking really trashed so i snap a few pictures and then she starts posing. Im so high and fucked that i dont know what a camera is, but the pictures i take of her are amazing. she gets a bloody nose and i photograph her with the toilet paper stopping the blood. so great.

Im skanking to Rancid and Operation Ivy, i have a 40 in my hand. i am excited.

I've acquired 3 more adderal pills and after having one put on my tongue, i snort the others.

I rolled about 6 spliffs over the course of the night so im fucking soooo high. i drank about 1 40 and at leas 5 or 6 shots.

At about 3 am, the party is winding down and me mario, cute girl and this girl sam are talking in mario's room talking and shit. at about 5 he kicks us out and me and cute girl hit the bed. Im not tired at all so i lay in bed until about 9:30 when sam wakes up. Techno has been playing for about an hour, so i convince sam to go with me to see where its coming from. Down the hall there is an apartment thats turned into a club basically. its empty except for a bunch of 30 year old losers on ketamine and ecstasy. I smoke a cigarette and then walk to the corner store to buy a beer. I want to keep this buzz going ALL weekend.

I get back and convince cute girl to go to the techno room. We drink and laugh at the middle adged creepers. We finally decide to leave, only to discover that the door to the apartment we were sleeping in is closed and locked. we sit outside for about an hour before i decide to just pick the lock. a few minutes later we are in. no sooner than when i get into bed and get warm, everyone wakes up. Ben mentions pot so im up at the table in a flash. We smoke a bowl and after sitting at the table for 30 mins, we start filtering out at about 12 or 1.

At 7pm, me and cute girl board a train destined for philly. We arrive in philly at 9. I am so fucked. Im hungover, beggining to crash from the adderal and im miserable. i decide i hate philly and that i instantly want to be home. at about 10 oclock, we get to Melodys house (previously in brooklyn adderal night and brooklyn adderal night continued). I get up stairs and crack open a beer. Awesome. I fee much better. After 2 or 3 more, i go into the bathroom and do my last adderal pill.

***Memory lapse***

Me and jake are playing Beirut (beer pong) and im killing. i sink like 4 cups in a row. we lose how ever so i buy some pot and smoke a bit. Cute girl decides to go to a bar with her friend from philly and i am left to find entertainment in philly at melodies. Melody is that entertainment. She is SOOOO plastered. she cant walk straight or talk coherently, however she is more sober than her friend dan. Dan is so shot he literally cant stand, he gets rolled down the stairs, and i pick him up and carry him up the stairs.

Once again, the night is a jumble and so here are random events:

Im on the beirut table again, and im playing swing and old punk for everyone.

Someone stole my ipod. i am angry. I drink more and sit on the floor.

Someone found an acoustic guitar and is playing Red Hot Chili Peppers. Everyone knows the words. it is fun.

There is a kitten running around.

I am drunk. I am rolling another spliff. (spliff number 4 or 5 by this point)

someone found my ipod. Sweet.

Melody is crying. She is drunk. we comfort her. She decides we are all her best friends and that she loves everyone.

There are about 9 or 10 kids taking up every inch of floor space in the living room. some are passed out and others are just sitting. Jake falls onto cute girl and me, then proceeds to pass out against the wall. at this point there are only about 3 kids left awake and i decide im ready to REALLY start drinking. So i grab some tequila and pour myself a drink. after that is gone, i make a vodka sunrise and down it.

Me and melody decide we need food. I'm on that shit so fucking fast, i whip out pots and knives and i think about making all this shit. I decide that tuna salad with apples, celery and carrots is the best thing ever. We all concur that the tuna salad i made was the most banging ass tuna salad EVER. I sit down in the corner and discover there is only 15 beers left. I also discover that i feel almost sober, despite being VERY drunk.

I calmly report to the dead silent room that i am not moving until the beers are gone. It is a blatant lie. 3 beers in and im tired and want to lay down, so i open another and sit on the floor. We discover that Jimmy (kid on bed) peed himself.

I find crutons in the cabinet. I eat them all.

***Memory lapse/Pass out***

I wake up at abotu 930 to the sound of Melody SCREAMING! she decides we all need to drink more. so we do. I shot gun a beer after sipping one, and me cute girl and jake head out to find the bus and get back to NYC. I snag 3 beers for the ride home.

I roll a spliff and smoke it on the way to the bus.

We arrive at the bus and sit down with fried chicken we just got. I eat that and drink a beer, and pass out on the train. i am too fucking tired. I awake in Jersey City and when we get off the bus in chinatown, i open a beer and wrap it in a napkin. I drink that beer on the way back to my dorm. When i arrive in my dorm i realize i have one more beer left so i roll another spliff and drink the last beer.

After a refreshing ass shower, i pour myself a double shot of Dubra vodka and after doing it, i decide that i am indeed fucking stupid. I get into bed and watch a few movies.

It is 10:12pm as i write this. After this post, i am going to pour one more shot, roll one more spliff, consume them and then watch tv until i fall asleep. Goodnight. Happy halloween.

CT For the Weekend.

2008-10-22T15:07:00.001-07:00

So i went home on friday to see friends and do laundry and normal college shit. When i got home, i went to my friend Schuylers house. He just got a new apartment and i wanted to check it out. Minutes after getting there, i realize i am out of Cigarettes and i need to get some alcohol. So i send schuyler and Cute girl to go grab some.

I play world of warcraft and i had a raid that night. Raiding Drunk is way bhetter than doing it sober. Schuyler returns an hour later with a handle of Dubra vodka. Fucking sweet. i pour myself a stiff drink and begin drinking and raiding. An hour later, i am fairly tipsy and about 3 drinks deep. My group in WoW begins to ask if i am drunk. I insist no, Not yet, but soon.

I take a cigarette break and here is where my mind and memory gets cloudy. I remember finishing my drink and cig and getting really depressed so i poured myself 2 stiff ones and downing them fast. Just chugging them down. For the next hour i repeat this process every so often. I get the reputation of the Guild drunk in WoW and i live up to it. Schuyler gets on the microphone and tell my guild mates that i am not to be given any responsibility. A few minutes later, the server crashes so WoW is gone.

I see my friend and schuylers roomate, Allie, and so i run into her room and tell her to read my tarot cards. My question is unknown to me know but i remember it making sense and not liking the answer it gave me.

I keep drinking and dicking around on the computer. Schuyler has been gone with cute girl for a while but im too depressed to care or deal with anything. I sit and i remember saying "i need a straw. Sitting up is too much work". At that statement i should have stopped drinking. But no. i continued. I've finished 1/3 of a handle of vodka. mathamatically if i did 1/3rd of 1.75 liters, i drank 19.6 shots. Yeaaah. Bad idea? My night has fallen apart.

***memory lapse***
I am eating Wings with alli.

***memory lapse***
I am in the bathroom, kneeling by the toilet.

***memory Lapse***
I am sitting on the toilet so that i can pee in the toilet and throw-up in the sink at the same time. So attractive

***Memory lapse***
Schuyler and cute girl are in the bathroom. Schuyler says to me "Get up and get naked"
While i ask Why? i stand up and do it. He turns on the shower and i get in and lay down.

***Memory Lapse***
somehow the plug is pulled and the water is rising, my face begins to slip into the water and i nearly breath water in, but cute girl hears the bubbles and pulls my head out of the water.

***memory lapse***
Im on the floor ass naked, everyone is saying goodnight and going to bed, im wrapped in a towel and i just want to sleep right there.

***Memory lapse***
I walk down the stairs to the futon, wearing only red american apparel briefs and my hat. I get into bed with Cute Girl and fall asleep. Well more so, i pass out.

THE NEXT MORNING.

I wake up at 11ish and i am ready to go. Lets get this shit done. Im ready to drink again. i grab my cloths and go smoke a cigarette. First night ive thrown up in forever and yet the next day i've got no hang over? Damn, this does not bode well for my body.

Trashy time on someone elses fire escape.

2008-10-14T13:44:00.001-07:00

Me and grace decide to go get drunk (Of course). We think about sushi which has an all you can drink sake for like 10 dollars, but we'd only have an hour to drink. Instead we walk to St. Marks Place and walk around, looking for a place to sit and drink out bottle of Svedka. As i have said before. Me+Vodka=DuRNk!@# . So anyways. We find a nice stairwell on the side of the street, between two shops whose roofs we can sit on. We climb up and sit on a fire escape which is basically a bench above the store. We sit and drink, and talk. We broach the subject of her worst story while working as a receptionist at a brothel in Aussie-land. It involves adult babies, goldenshowers and term I've never even heard. Brown Shower. I decide that for once, i have no story to top this. This puzzles me so i drink more.

After the vodka is almost gone, i start to get hungry. I walk across the street to get a slice of $1.00 pizza. I end up with a whole pie. It was 8 dollars and at 8 dollars for a pie...who can say no? I come back and we eat. She challenges me to eat half the pizza. It's only four slices and I'M AMERICAN! so yeah. I do. I end up doing like 3 and a half before i lose interest and we wander down to the bar below us. We get to the bar and he promptly pours us two beers and we walk out front to half a cigarette.

We are perplexed by the signs on the outdoor tables which say NO SMOKING. huh. This nice homeless man sitting ont he street informs us that the bartendes can politely Fuck Off so i grab the sign and toss it on the other table and light my cigarette.

We talk to our new friend, i introduce myself. His name is mike. He owns a bar in new jersey but lives homeless in NYC. I'm not sure i believe him. Im also not sure i care if its true. We talk and he mentions Fullerton California. I grew up in the area and we talk for a bit about Socal and the differences. I ask if i can take photos of him in the studio some time. he agrees and i am excited. I've seen him before and he is very interesting. He paints helocopters on the street on little pieces of scrap foam core.

We part ways and me and Grace go back to our spot on the semi roof, fire escape. I can't tell you what we talked about but we spent about 3-4 hours just sitting there and talking and drinking. At some point we decide more beer is in order and go to the liqourstore/bodega and get some more. I meet a man who is obviously homeless and drunk and he mumbles in a barely understandable voice "DO YOU LIEK ROCK AND ROLL?!" So i reply. "I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL" and me and my toothless homeless friend spend the next 45 seconds to a minute screaming " I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL. PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE JUKEBOX BABY!" and then i pat his arm and say later brother and tell him to have a good night.

At about 4 we walk back to my dorms, and stumble past the security guard. When i get to my room, i pray my roomate is not home because we are SHIDDY (Shitty, but with an american accent apparently.) Grace informs me that i say Shitty wierd. I say it with D's. My roomate is asleep and so we decide to finish our drinks (At some point we bought MORE.) to the stairwell. We sit in the stairwell and smoke and drink. A security guard walks by and i try to hid the cigs and beer. He walks by and then turns back and says, "I dont care what you do just clean up and dont light shit on fire" We appreciate his descretion and clean up and go back to my room and pretty much pass out. I store the last 1/3 of my 24 ounce in the fridge so i can drink it in the morning.

Its 5:02 the next afternoon, and i finishing this beer. I love life. Last night was fun. Good times with Australia and St Marks.

Drinks: 13ish 4 shots of vodka, four 24oz beers, and a beer at the bar
Drunk Level: 7 out of 10

Semantics and Mummy Dick

2008-10-13T00:26:00.000-07:00

There is a show in Brooklyn/queens. I head over with Grace (australian couch surfer), stewert and chris head over to queens. We get off on the wrong stop but we see white castle. Whoa white castle. I grab me some sliders and we head out. We arrive at the show and i pay to get in. Chris can't afford it so he sits out front and skates. My memory is quite foggy but i remember smoking a joint in the front row of the show and buying and drinking a 40.

I drank and smoked a lot and petted the cats that live at the venue/apartment where we were. After a few hours i see chriss across the show, mouthing 'I GOT A JOB' and holding up dollar bills. Only chris. After rolling and smoking another joint, me stewert and grace decide to go to our friend fritz to say hi.

We arrive at fritz's and someone drops the keys off the roof. I try to catch them. I fail. While stewert deals with open a lock, i pee in a little doorway. We get into fritz's apartment and theres about 6 or 7 kids there drinking and talking. I sit down next to fritz and i see he's reading abotu D&D. Dungeons and Dragons. Oh god. I instantly want to start playing with them, but they are all too high level for me to start out with them. Im crushed. I quickly realize however that I could never play that game. its way to complicated. So instead i go to the porch and have a cigarette and drink a bit. At some point me and grace when out for more beer, so im drinking a new 40.

***Memory Lapse***

Were all inside talking about the morals of ethnic slurs and semantics. I dont know how we got on the topic of this but fritz starts talking about what he does when he jacks off or when he has sex. He has come up with a term for what he does. It is called mummy dick. He wraps his meat and 2 veg in toilet paper and depending on how tired he is, he is either just go to sleep, or after a bit, clean up and then sleep. Some Tid bits of the conversation were as follows.

"No i can't just go in a sock, i wear my clothes, i dont cum in them."
"Well what if you dont wrap it up and leave it, then you still get some cum on your boxers or sheets"
"Wait you guys dont just wrap it up and go to sleep?"
"Im just disgusted by my own bodily Fluids."
"No wait. Let me explain my self."

Among many other things. This conversation has gone on for far too long. It turned into a 30 minute conversation about fritz dick.

***Memory lapse***

We are saying good bye. Me stewert and Grace walk to the subway and catch it home. Me and grace go to the dinner and talk for a bit. I got a bacon egg and cheese. It is amazing. Then we went home and went to sleep because we were waaay to tired to deal with being awake at 5 am.

Total Drinks :2.5 40s
Drunk level: 6 out of 10
Misc: Really. really. REALLY high.

Jakes Birthday

2008-10-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

Last night was jakes birthday. I walked over to his apartment at like 10:15 last night. When i arrive it is just Jake, his girlfriend, and this kid Stewart. I start drinking. Next thing i know theres like 15 kids in jakes tiny studio apartment. We all decide to move up to roof. On the roof we play shit like telephone and word association games. We are strange drunks. we revert back to like first day of middle school shit. its fun. At some point i finished my 40 and moved on to whiskey. Always a bad decision.
***Memory Lapse***
Suddenly i am on the roof with Gideon's sister Delida, his cousin matt, and a few unnammed kids who were just shadows at this point. Matt is playing guitar and me and delida are belting out the lyrics to every 90's song ever. Marcy Playground, Semisonic, Oasis, Len, green day, weezer...everything. I just remember this jam sesh being so awesome. Me and delida wrote a song about out friend bobby. It went somthing like. BOBBY BOYYYYYY OHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOBBY BOOOOOOOY. SITTING ON A ROOF, SWAYING NORTH AND SOUTH OH BOOOOOOOOOBBY BOOOOOOOOY. Yeah. Deep stuff. Me delida and chanel talked for like an hour and i decided that we should all make a band together.
***Memory Lapse**
I some how got roped into going to the bodega for more beer. I picked up an adderall pill on the way. Woot. Me and delida grab 4 40's and go back to jakes.
***Memory Lapse***
I am exceedingly drunk. I am peeing in the bathroom. I can barely stand.
***Memory Lapse***
Im laying down on the floor with delida a foot or two away, jake is passed out on his bed, and gideon and heather are sitting at the foot. Apparently gideon thought i was too close to his sister because he flipped a fuck and started screaming how i shouldn't touch her. I just kept trying to calm him down, saying that there is nothing to be mad about and shit like that. He didn't like this. I sat in jakes room until about 5 am, when i left and put delida into a cab, and walked back to my dorm.

When i got to my dorm i ran into this girl keatyn that i bummed a cigarette from once, i invited her and her friends to my room. We smoked and talked about music. I let them draw on my wall and we had a good time. At about 9:45am i finally got to bed. Good times. Happy Birthday Jake, thanks for the whiskey

Total Drinks: 9 (two 40's a few shots of whiskey)
Drunk level: 8 out of 10

Tuesday Night

2008-10-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night my friend jake called me and told me that if i came over an hung out, he'd buy me a 40. So of course i was all over that. I went down there with Cute Girl, and we all watched skate videos, smoked and me and jake told stories from high school. Good times. At 12 me and cute girl walked back to my dorm and fell asleep.

Drinks: 1 40oz
Drunk Level: 1 out of 10

Monday Night

2008-10-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

After getting out of my room finally, i went to the corner store and grabbed a 6 pack of Hurricane Tall Boys. I went back to my room and drank 2 or 3 of them. At about 10:30 Cute Girl called me and said she was stranded at Laguardia with no way home, she left her credit cards back home and had no money. I paid for her cab down from laguardia and went back to my room.

I drank the other 2 or 3 and gave her 1. shes a lightwieght so thats all she needed. I was feeling a little tipsy. somwhere around 12 or 1, me and her fell asleep.

Boring night.

Drinks: 5 tall boys
Drunk level: 3 out of 10

Snapper and new friends

2008-10-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

Last night my buddy chris (whole nother story all together) who i went to highschool with came over from brooklyn at like midnight. or he was supposed. at 130 when he still wasnt here i was about to change and go to sleep when he called me from a number that wasnt his.

"Dude, my phone just got stolen. I was on the C, transfering to the L train, when the dude just grabbed my phone. ive been out front of your building for a half hour, come down."

After going down, it became apparent that we weren't shooting tonight. So instead we went to a bodega, and got a few beers. We sat in front of my schools other dorms and bullshitted with kids out front, skated and drank. We went back to the store a few more times for a few more beers before ending up back in front of my building. at about 3am, i went upstairs and grabbed my comforter and me and chris sat out front under my blanket, talking to this girl about life. 9/11, squatters, drugs, jobs, sex, relationships; pretty much anything we could think of. At 5 i was beat. havingbarely slept since thursday i just wanted to sleep, so i went up and crashed for an hour. At 730am, i came down and signed chris in and we went up and went to sleep. He passed out on the floor on top of clothes, jackets, books and trash and crawled into bed.

At 4:30 i wake up and almost crush chris because i forgot about him.

As i sit here now at 6:45 pm, Security is attempting to get into my room because my lock is broken and i cant open the door. This is fun. Im a hostage in my own room. Fucking sweet.

Drinks: 3 or 4
drunk level: 2 out of 10
Misc: Felt dreamy, probably from sleep deprivation and shit.

Brooklyn adderall night continued.

2008-10-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

So. after getting to my dorm at about 10am saturday morning, i left with melody and went back to jakes. I'm still totally cracked out and drunk and i cant stop talking or moving. i drink the three 16 ounce PBR's that are left and I sit on the bed and realize, im so tired. but as i lay down, i cant sleep or even shut my eyes. i get up and sit on the foot of the bed with jake while we watch daria on one side of his computer and viral videos on the other side, melody lays down on the bed and sleeps. at about 9pm (5 hours later), melody wakes up and we go get more beer. i pick up a 6 pack of olde english and we share the sixer and just talk and watch skate videos and bullshit. its a fun time. i play duckhunt for about 2 hours.

after the olde e is gone, we all head out (melody , me , jake , heather) to go to atomic wings. It is closed, we are sad. I salvage the rest of teh night by stopping at a bodega and buying another 2 40s for me and melody. As i write this, i am half way done with one and me and my roomate and his friends are watchin chapelle show. It's a good time. I figure i finish this and once i feel tired (im still wired and fucked up from last night), ill just pass out on my pile of clothes on the floor. Its a comfy bed i just set up when i got back.

drinks: 3 pbr 2 olde e, one 40. 7 or 8
Drugs: None since 8 this morning which is in the last post.
Drunk level: i feel like im at a 3 out of 10 but i should be way more.
Fucked up level: Still 10

ADDERALL, Brooklyn, fights, PBR, Melody, etc...

2008-10-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

Ok.

Last night was my friend Marios birthday. I went to brooklyn at about 930 pm, and starting drinking. I ran into my friend Chris who i havent seen in like 3 years. I talked to him for awhile. Dude lives a crazy life.

After high school, he went to westconn (western Connecticut University) and dropped out during his sophmore year, to go to indiana with his GF. He worked in a slaughter house and photographed the dead shit he worked with on a day to day basis. After deciding indiana was not for him and that his GF wouldnt be going to NYC anytime soon, he just came here with no money, and crashed around a few places, until he found an apartment with some communist hippie writer kids.

I smoked a blunt with chris and 2 other kids. 5 mins later, we wonder where the weed went, so we rolled another joint.

But yeah um... **memory Lapse**

I drank 2 40s and im on my second 24 oz of pbr. im pretty drunk. we go across the street to another party and my friend gideon gets into a fight. i have to choke a dude against the wall to stop it and yeah. drama. WOOT. im drunk. im too drunk for drama. So i go back across the street and sit down next to this girl. i mention adderall. She opens her purse and dumps a handful of adderall pills into my hand. OH MY GOD CHRISTMAS. I crush of 3 of them (30mg) and snort them. Awesome. I feel totally fucked, but more sober now. I took a few shots of rum before i did the adderall i think. i dont really rememeber. Um.

I pester chriss to smoke and we roll another Joint. Glorious. 128oz of beer, 3 or 4 shots of rum, 2 joints, a blunt, a few addy pills. Life is AWESOME. Its about 4 am and most people are gone.

**memory lapse**

Somehow 7 (10mg pills) are gone. I didn't think i did that much, but mario says i did, and i must have. Its 7am I am sitting in marios room, pouring my heart to this kid, talking about my life and drugs, and everything. I have 3 pills left and so i open his bedroom door and usher in melody. We do the last 3 pills, and at 930, we leave marios and walk back to the subway and head to my dorm.

I am suprised there is light. i feel like the night should have just begun. i feel like i could run a marathon. I stop at the corner store and buy a sixer of PBR and as i get onto the subway, i open one and start drinking.

Me and melody talk and talk and talk. she plays WoW, i play WoW. I'm a nerd, shes a nerd. its cool. its fun. its 100mg of addy and numerous drinks.

we get to my room and my roomate is asleep. But not for long. we wake him up, scream music out my window, smoke cigarettes and make coffee. good times. good times.

Drinks: two 40's, two 24's, 4 shots of rum
Drugs:75-90mg of Amphetamine Salts (adderall substitute), 2 joints and a blunt
Drunk level: 7.5 of 10
Fucked up level: 10. Holy shit.

Entertainment company Party and getting taken advantage of.

2008-09-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

On saturday, i have a interview/investors party/meet-and-greet for a start-up entertainment company i will taking photos for starting in november.

I arrive at a gourgeous house on the water, that looks like its out of a movie. This house/furniture/view/location can be described as one thing. Ballin'. Period. It's just balling.

As soon as i get there, I grab myself a beer. Which is quickly gone. At some point i may come back to this story because it is a good one, but what happens is not important, so i will skip from 6pm to 10:30 pm, and simply list the drinks i can remember drinking. 1 Heineken, 2 margaritas, 3 shots of patron, 2 vodka and cranberries, 1 assorted drink i dont remember what was in it)

I'm 9 drinks deep and i call my friend schuyler. We decide to meet at a local bar/restaurant. At some point i must have given cute girl the keys because she is driving. When we arrive, i order 21 wings and a water. Schuyler arrives and orders a beer. I look at him quizzingly and say "2 beers. 2. I want one." or something to that effect. He orders 2 and i am happy.

My wings come, my beer is gone. I am drunk. i powerhouse through half the wings and then realize i have to pee. When i get up to go to the bathroom, i realize how drunk i am. Oh my god. i cannot stand. this is not good. i should start eating when i drink.

I arrive back at the table and eat a wing or 2. suddenly my beer is half full. This is confusing but i think nothing of it.

***Side Note***
Schuyler has been ordering new beers. the total for the night on the bill was 4 or 5 so thats where the half full beer came from.

I take a 50 out of my wallet, throw it on the table and get up to smoke a cigarette. I have difficulty walking, standing, talking, moving etc.

****memory lapse****

It is morning. My cat is meowing in my face, and rubbing my face with her nose. Cute cute cat. After thinking about it for a while and petting my cat, i vaguely remember the night before.

Cute Girl and me started hooking up and I'm fairly certain we had sex. I had morals and ethics pertaining to sleeping with this particular girl, but then i got drunk. Fucking alcohol. I can barely remember what happened during but i remember the act and smoking a cigarette after. Oh no this is not good.

Creepy eli and drunk girl.

Richie and his bitches.

5 minutes later, my step father is yelling at me, telling me to get in the car, he needs help with work. uuuuuggggghhhh. so i get up put on pants and go to work.

By the way...its about 9 am. I am hung over. He plays with a nail gun and saw for a few hours at work. Fuck. My. Life.

CT for the weekend

2008-09-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

I went home this weekend with Cute Girl in tow and so on friday night, we got into my town at about 9pm. My mom came and got us at the train station and when i got home she informed me that there was a party at our house for the presidential election.

I walk in and go to my old room and start going through my old shit. Me, cute girl and my mom sit and talk in my room, when my stepfather comes into my bed room and says. "theres a bottle of the alcohol that makes you hallucinate...the stuff thats been illegal for the past 50 years....whats it called?"

"ABSINTHE?!"

I immediately jump up and go to the kitchen and pour myself a shot. I'm dissappointed that after one shot and smelling it and all that, that i realize this is not absinthe but rather some german vodka/gin type drink. I pour myself another shot just to be sure it is not absinthe. It still isnt. I go back to my room, and after going through my closet and telling my mom i need her to clean out my flask thats been in my closet for 4 months with vodka and berries in it, i leave to go to work at my old bar.

At 10:30 i arrive at work. Everyone misses me, blah blah blah, hugs, etc. I set up what i need to, and go to the back room for a beer and a cigarette. After i do that, i go upstairs and see my old bartender, Crystal.

Crystal and me used to do jager bombs like water on a bi-hourly basis when i worked there earlier this year. So of course i pour us a few and we do them.

I'm downstairs again a while later, and i'm drinking another beer.

I'm upstairs again for another jager bomb.

At 1:45 the bar closes and I clean up. At 3:30 I am home.

I go to sleep after playing call of duty for a few hours

Drinks: 8 (2 'absinthe' shots, 3 jager bombs, 3 beers)
Drunkness: 6.5 out of 10
Food: enough.

The Gayboorhood.

2008-09-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

Last night I was with Cute Girl and we got a call from my friend Richie aka Ebony Princess 2008. He's the west village for the night so i rush over with cute girl in tow to meet him.

After about an hour, i track him down and we go to a famous gay bar in the west village. The bartended cards me and cute girl so we can't drink. damn. Oh well its Dykes on Mics night so its some lesbian comedy. Jackie Jones was hillarious. shes was total socal skater-punk girl-dyke. She started hitting on Cute Girl and singing "i want you to want me" to her. My friend richie and his friend bobby are convinced that Cute Girl is the most beautiful thing ever. When we go outside for a cigarette. we run into the comic again and then a very drunk lesbian who hits on her again. I get labeled the quiet one. Great.

We then walk to a bar called pieces. On the way, Bobby sticks his head over a fence and yells at several men in it, "YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME COKE?" a guy starts waving us over but luckily me and richie push bobby down the street. We get to pieces and they card us again. DAMNIT. i am bound to not drink tonight. On our way back to find ANOTHER bar where i can drink, richie and bobby begin to pose in a little enclave by a door and window and a little bench type thing. After a few minutes, the curtain is pulled back and we hear "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WINDOW YOU IDIOT!" For some reason this is hilarious and all 4 of us spend a few minutes dieing of laughing. bobby and richie were legit on the ground rolling around.

So we finally recover and find a bar, richie promptly orders 4 shots of jager. once they are being poured, cute girl makes it known that she does not want to drink after the previous nights, festivities. So i say no worries and i make it known that i like jager. i do my shot and her shot and order a jager bomb. as soon as the shot his the redbull, i drink it all down. the bartender is in awe. She can tell i am not 21 and i suspect she did not expect me to know how to do a jagerbomb or do it fast.

At this point i see a juke box. i borrow a dollar and put on elliot smith. i am an emo kid. Fuck you. I like it when im drinking. Cute girl did too. Richie orders me a corona and right after bobby who is really really trashed, passes me his apple-tini. Fucking fruity drinks. So i drink his martini and finish my corona in time to look over and see bobby pulling richies face towards his. Richie jumps up and screams "OH MY GOD I JUST KISSED BOBBY! AHHHH" and starts spitting on the floor. The two porr bartenders are laughing and putting their hands over their face. At this point, bobby is humping hte floor in the doorway and richie is spitting.

We leave the bar and we see a street cafe. bobby decides he must talk to the people there. I decide its not a good idea and pull him away. There is a big block of cardboard ahead thats about 4 feet tall. Bobby and richie are up there posing in about 2 seconds. After the couture photo shoot on the trash.

Memory lapse. I have to turn to my right and ask cute girl what we did next. she isnt sure either. Oh well.

The next thing i remember, we are at a pizza place, after getting kicked out of a piano bar. I leave bobby with cute girl figuring she can handle him, while me and richie find a liqour store. We get side tracked.

"Lets get something pierced!" says richie!

I agree this is a FABULOUS idea. so we go in. It's 25$ for a tongue pierced, so guess what richie gets pierced. Only after assuring the man that he is completely sober and has had but one drink, does he pierce it though.

We go back to the pizza parlor but dont see bobby or cute girl. Oh no. Luckily they are outside smoking a cigarette. I save cute girl and richie shows bobby his tongue. Bobby says he wants his too now. We try to tell him that he cant but he wont listen. it takes all our patience to keep him walking away from the parlor. (If youre reading this bobby, dont worry, we've all been there. You and richie are still our favorites!"

After this we walk back to the dorms, with bobby and richie bickering and me laughing and cute girl being silent again. Bobby stops to pee twice and richie kicks a duane reades door.

I wake up in the morning after a good night at 11. Oops missed class. Oh well. I dont care and niether does Cute Girl. Good.

Richi and bobby on cardboard.

Richie on the floor.

Drinks: 3 shots of jager, an appletini, a corona (5)
Drunkess: 2 out of 10
Food: Let's just say i should eat more.

3:30 in the afternoon.

2008-09-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

Its 3:30 pm and i found a beer in my fridge. I am drinking it. Exciting i know. I've decided this blog was a good idea. I like knowing every time I drink and what happens. Stories are good.

Hipsters Birthday, throw up and me with a vag

2008-09-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

Alright. So. fucking hipsters. again. I've grown to love my new hipsters. When i was there the other day they invited us back for a girls birthday party. I enjoy birthday parties.

At about 10 oclock i call cute girl and me her and alicia head over to my buddy jakes apartment. Cute girl is mad at me. i dont know why. We get to jakes apartment and his gf is laying in bed half asleep and he is at the computer. i lay down on his filthy floor after putting a record on and we basically whisper because were all beat. At about 10:45 we head to the Hipster's house.

We we arrive we can hear the music from 2 floors down. I walk in first and pour myself a drink.

If i think hard i could tell you what happened next but the next important event is me sitting on a furry chair, drinking my 3rd drink. By this time we ran out of sprite so it was a half full glass of vodka. Tasty.

Now i should follow this with the fact that vodka and me are not friends. Some people have tequila problems...some whiskey...I have vodka.

So random hipster music is playing. MIA and gay 70 music, MGMT or whatever.

I get a call from a kid Dave Tassey. He has a huge fro and a huge beard that is like his head hair on his chin and its amazing. hes outside. I let him up and i instantly know tonight will be good.

I pour him a drink and top off mine (shot number 7 or 8).

After a while we realize the vodka is empty and me tassey and cute girl go to get more beer. The whole way there, Cute Girl is being really mean. REALLY MEAN. And im loving it. Im hoping shes not actually mad at me, but also hoping that she keeps acting like it because its the hottest thing i have seen in a looong time.

I should also tell you some other things about me. Im not happy unless im bleeding. My back had better be so scratch that i cant shower with my back to the water, i want to be choked and all that. Shes doing the non-physical version of this. She is a complete bitch and i love it.

Anyways, we go to one bodega and the guy cards tassey. Tassey hands him his ID that says tassey is 20. The man looks at the idea. scratches his head and looks at the wall. ID. Wall. ID. Wall.
"you have 20 years"
"21"
"20"
"it says 21 right here"
"YOU HAVE 20 YEARS!"
"fine"
Dick.

So we trek to another bodega and succesfully purchase my 2nds favorite beer. Red Stripe. We make it back to the apartment and Cute Girl still wont tell me why or even if she is mad at me.

I see an empty spot in the window so i go sit over there because its hot as underboob, or balls or hell or whatever you want to say. there are 2 people i know and i dont. I introduce myself to the girl i dont know. Her name is madeline. she makes fun of me for being 19. i guess her age at 23. she says 24, but since she spent a year in rehab and a few years wasted on drugs, she has decided shes 21. After she tells me this, she does a line of coke. Attractive.

Madeline and this guy Xavier are convinced i am gay. I am not. Madeline says too bad because she only sleeps with gay guys. I say that thats too bad. im not gay. She is attractive but not for me. At the point where she begins rubbing my leg and trying to hold my hand, Cute Girl comes over and sits where the coke just was. She takes my beer out of my hand and i ask why she is mad. She will not tell me. This is becoming a trend. I go on the balcony to pee and when i get back. 24/21 year old madeline is gone. Thank god.

Cute Girl tells me she is heading back to the dorm. She does not look well. Having brought 4 other people who know no one at this party, i am oddly not reluctant to offer what i offer.

"do you want me to walk you back"
"ehhh...dont worry about it. its fine"
"Ok. lets go"

I say a few short good byes and assure everyone i will be back. i just need to walk her about 12 streets and 4 or 5 avenues. only about an hour and a half drunken walk there and back.

So as to not embarrass Cute Girl, i will just say that she was not feeling very well and after holding her hair and lifting her from the sidewalk, i decide she cannot go to the dorms. i knew a kid who got kicked out of housing first week of school for coming home puking.

I call my buddy jake and ask him a huge favor. I think the conversation goes something like this.

"Dude jake. shes shot. i need your guest bed."
"No fucking problem. we've all been there. if theres a mess in my hall, clean it a little, i dont want to piss off the neighboors."

I convince Cute Girl that we have to leave and go to jakes. she reluctantly comes and i get jakes keys and walk to his apartment. We only have to stop at about 2 more corners to puke a little more on her arms, legs and my shoes. Some how i am not disgusted and all i can do it smile and run her back.

I get her into his guest bed in his tiny studio apartment. i sit her down, clean her up, get her water, take of her shoes and give her my shirt as a pillow. i do not want to cause jake and his GF any more dirty things in their apartment.

The next 3 hours of this story are not important to anyone but me. I dont think cute girl remembers or would even care if she did, so ill skip it. However i will say this, contrary to hygiene, personal dignity and normal logic. I totally kiss this girl not even 15 mintues after she threw up. This is not good. Not a good sign at all.

After listening to The chronic and either/or (elliot smith) a few times. she is just falling asleep and i get a call from alicia saying they are on their way back. i finish up my cigarette and put the water glass in the sink. I take off my sweatshirt and put it over her legs because i know jake will put the air conditioning on and its fucking cold already.

By this time they are up in the apartment and i shake jakes hand, assure him i will be back by 9 am to retrieve cute girl and me and alicia walk back to my dorm. As soon as we get back, we both fall asleep.

I awake at 6 oclock (about 2 hours after falling asleep) and by 7 i havent fallen asleep again, so i get up, get dressed, roll a cigarette and walk to pick her up. Thats pretty much it. i get her, we walk back. she thanks me and i of course say dont worry about it even though walking though midtown east at 8 oclock am with 2 hours of sleep and still drunk, is the last thing i want to be doing.

Total Drinks: about 12 total (7 or 8 shots of vodka a 24 of red stripe and another can of micro brewery hipster beer.
Drunkness: 6.5/10
Food: Pizza 30 minutes before i leave my dorm and a bagel at like 3pm.

Hipsters House #2 and artichoke pizza

2008-09-20T11:00:00.001-07:00

Kamil is a horrible person. he is never on time. Last night i spent from 8 until almost 10 waiting for him to be done at a diner. When i finally got the call, i immediately leave my dorm and head to his apartment.

I arrive with my friend from boston, Alicia, in tow and we promptly ask when we are getting beer and whether we can even get hard alcohol at this hour. We cannot.

So we walk to the little corner store bodega and grab 3 6packs. He gets corona, i get PBR and olde E. I am happy.

As we walk up the stairs of his apartment, we hear loud music coming from hipster's apartment and so once again, i see a button and i press it. We are welcomed in without a second thought and i throw the beer in the fridge and start drinking.

There are about 5 guys and 5 girls at this apartment. Me and kamil are the only 2 positively straight men there. I find this entertaining. Gay people are the absolute funnest people EVER to hang out with.

I spend about 30 minutes talking to this gay man brian who after hearing me interact with alicia and hearing me talk for no more than 3 minutes, knows everything about me. I find this terrifying.

I dont remember a little bit in here but the next event i can remember is me peeing in a sink while alicia is peeing in the toilet and someone is banging on the door. Her pee was very yellow. I know this because she kept saying it. over and over and over and over and over and...

We begin to talk to a thoroughly intoxicated blonde woman who i propose, probably has the iq of a burnt piece of toast. She is a Finance Major from Oregon University or something. She is constantly nearly spilling her totally full bottle of newcastle. Every 5 seconds i move over and grab the neck of the bottle to keep it from spilling on her dress. She gets up to go to the bathroom and we hear a giant crash. I look over and she is on the floor. She gets helped up. She saved the beer from spilling so all is well. 15 seconds later. BANG. She falls again...wtf...she didnt seem THAT drunk.

We are then told that we all must leave because this girl berry is tired and has been puking for a few hours. We dont leave. we sit in the kitchen listening to miley cyrus and the doors (i dont get it either) and then finally leave. As im leaving i make plans to meet up with cute girl from the other night and our friend spencer. We meet up at a pizza place and cute girl seems angry. Not sure why. But anyways. we decide its probably best to just all go home. so we do.

They take the subway and me and alicia walk. As we are walking i see a guy carrying a pizza box and realize we are right next to Artichoke. A pizza place specializing in artichoke and spinich pizza. I wait in line for about 30 minutes for 2 slices of this pizza. Before i eat it, i walk all the way back to my dorm.

After that i remember alicia dropping her pizza on the floor, and me getting into bed. and then i woke up. And thats my night last night.

Total drinks:4
Drunkness: 2 out of 10
Food eaten that day: HAH! a little ramen

Rooftops and sunsets

2008-09-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after class i got a call from a kid from my class who said he was having a party, so of course I round up jake and his girlfriend heather and we head over to Kamil's apartment. We get there with a handle of georgi vodka and sprite. theres only like 5 people there and we're all just smoking and drinking and talking. After about 6 or so shots, we decide to walk back to the dorms, i think with the intention of getting my cigarettes. I'm not really sure. But a few minutes later were back at the dorms. People go in to use the bathroom and whatever. As were walking back to kamils, i see a girl from my photo and other classes. I thought she was cute so i was drunkenly sreaming
"HEY! I KNOW YOU! YOU SHOULD COME! WERE GOING TO KAMILS ROOF! LETS GO", I expected some resistance and had lines ready to convince her.

None were needed. she promptly hung up the phone and walked with us. i remember nothing but being back at kamil's and having the sprite/vodka mix being gone from my bottle. I was sad. After rolling a joint and drinking a bit more. Me and Cute girl were the only ones on the room. Kamil was there but he kept leaving and coming back and leaving. At about 3 am we think its about time to leave. So we start the walk from Kamil's roof to his apartment. I see a door. it has a button. I push the button. Its a doorbell. 3 hipsters answer the door and offer me a bluemoon after i make it apparent that i need more beer. We get to talking and i realize i want to kick one in the face. I mention leftover crack and choking victim and c squat and he starts making fun of me. This gay little hipster kid. Luckily Cute girl sees the bottle in my hand and takes it from me saying..No. No. Stop. i wasn't going to hit him, come on. But he deserved it.

So after we leave gay hipster heaven and those kids, we walk back to the dorms. some where about 4 blocks from the dorms, she tells me that she has left her keys in her room so she can't get in since she doesn't want to trouble her roommates. I offer to sign her into my room and let her sleep there. There is one problem with this idea.

My school doesnt allow visitors to be signed in after 11 oclock unless you fill out an overnight form before 11 pm. Here it is. 4 or 5 am and we cant fill one out now. So we sit.

We sit on the stoop across the street for 2 and half hours, me drunkenly slurring my words and she soberly and politely laughing at my horrible drunken antics.

At 7:30 am. we are finally allowed to go in. I fall asleep seconds after hitting the bed and we sleep.

I wake up at 1 oclock and we talk. im hungover. i am not happy. i walk all over manahattan hungover and in pain. it is not fun.

Total Drinks:10-11 drinks
Drunkness: 7.5 out of 10
Food: Very little.

Lightning Bolt in Brooklyn

2008-09-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

After writing yesterdays post, i recieved a call from a good from highschool telling me to get my ass to brooklyn for the Lightning Bolt show. I poured myself some coffee, grabbed a bagel and a cigarette and hit the road. About an hour later i arrived in brooklyn (myrtle ave). As soon as my feet hit the stairs i could hear the music. Loud droning black metal. Not my deal. I pay to get into an abandonded lot under a subway overpass and find my friends. I convince them to go the corner store with me. I buy a 40. I drink it. I fix the hang over from the night before. I am happy.

That's pretty much it. the show was sick. i went back to my friends apartment, showered, played cards, and took the L back home. Boring night as far as alcohol goes.

Total drinks: 1 40 .oz
Drunkness: 1 out of 10
food: sandwhich and some other stuff

Brooklyn, Moving out party, etc

2008-09-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm laying in bed because i got home at about 4:30 am and when i first woke up at 10 i was hungover as shit so I went back to sleep. Here was my night last night.

Last night I went to the David Lachapelle exhibition over in the Chelsea section of Manhattan. After dealing with the crowds for a while and looking at his art, me and my friend Jake and his GF heather are standing out side with some other friends, and one of us basically blurts out,

"ok guys, its almost 8 o'clock and I'm sober. This blows. Lets get trashed"

So we start the walk back to the subway and subsequently, their apartment. When we arrive I promptly fall to the floor and begin eating chicken wings, that I bought on the way, and drinking a 40 oz. of Balentine.

If You've never had Balentine, It comes in a green bottle and it tastes like shit. however for some reason, when there is no Olde English I find my self reaching for the green bottle.

So about an hour or so later we decide to head to brooklyn. We jump on the L train and walk over to our friends apartment. We arrive and begin listening to a mix he made when he was 13. It had blink-182, cake and other stuff, but we all begin screaming the lyrics to the blink-182. All you hipsters and dickheads thinking its cool to hate blink-182, curl up in a ball and die. They're awesome.

So here I havent drank in about 2 hours so I convince people to head upstairs where another friend of ours in having a moving out party. The 5 of us trek up stairs and go into an apartment on the 5th floor.

When we enter, there are about 30-45 kids dancing to techno (badly), drinking, smoking and dicking around. I instantly realize there is not one girl in there I would sleep with. Unless i was drunk. So i crack the seal on my 2nd 40. I break out my portable breathalyzer and i am at a .03. OK. good. I climb a ladder that goes up to a 2nd floor type loft, and sit at the top and watch the freaks dance to techno. Its at this point that i see a girl dressed in a red and white dress that is reminiscint of alice in wonderland. She is staring at a piece of paper on the floor, and breaking a glowstick and dropping the glow shit on the paper. She stops and begins to look around the floor for something. It is quite possibly the most entertaining thing in the world. she looks soo high that i wonder what she is on and where i can get some.

At this point I'd love to tell you what happened but im a bit fuzzy so I'll do my best.

There is a big time gap (maybe an hour) between that and me finishing my 2nd 40 breathalyzing myself, and seeing that im .05. WTF this breathalyzer is broken. it has to be. my friend jake taps me on the shoulder and says
"dude, you wanna go grab another 40 with me?'

So we head out. the corner store is abotu 100 feet away. How we manage to do what happens next, i will never know.

So we walk in and i grab an 24 of olde english and the white powdered donuts for some reason. He grabs a 40 of colt 45, we pay, we walk away. When we are about 10 feet from the store, we hear,

"Hey! Hey! Come here!"

I think. Awesome. Gonna get mugged. this is sweet, i begin to reach into my pocket for the brass knuckles that magically ended up there after leaving jakes apartment. Instead I reach into my bag and grab my donettes. If I'm getting mugged, I want to have a full stomach. It is at this point, as my hands are pulling the cellophane from those sweet confectionary treats, that i hear WHOOP WHOOP (thats the sound of the police) and see blue and red lights flash. The men that had been calling us were officers of the law, not muggers.

So we walk over to the car, and they immedietly single out jake.

"What you got there? I just saw you open that thing up and drink from it"

If you're reading this blog, you probably know the deal, ID, address, pour out his 40, etc. They write him a ticket, but worst of all, he loses his 40 oz.

Once again memory lapse.

NExt thing i remember im back in the apartment, and 24 oz is empty. At some point jake and his GF had told me they had left, so i now knew no one at this party. I sat in a corner and drank alone. At some point i distinctly remember standing up with no shirt on, and walking around screaming

"I NEED A LIGHTER AND A DRINK. I LOST MY LIGHTER AND DRANK MY DRINK"

Some find this hilarious. Some do not. Either way, i end up with a lit cigarette and a drink. Someone felt it neccesary to give me a 40. WTF? who does that? Thats the most charitable thing ever. I breathalyze myself and it reads .10 . I think it finaly may be working because i certainly feel grateful that i dont have a car here. I go back to my corner and drink more.

Memory lapse.

Nothing interesting in happening, take a take out a garbage bag for the apartment owner. And step out side. Breathalyzer? .15 . Ok sweet. i can deal with that. So im standing out side smoking a cigarette with no shirt on because it was hot as balls in that house, and this blond girl from parsons or pratt or some annoying ass fashion/arts school asks me about my piercings

'what do you think about girls with there lips pierced"

I want to be grotesque and say "labia piercings arent for me...im a clit hood kinda guy" but i am not drunk enough so instead i say

"i like piercings."

We are instantly friends. I am also sure that I hooked up with that girl, she'd have to constantly be sucking my dick because her voice and mind make me what to throw myself onto the FDR expressway.

She wants to take a cab back to manhatten. Me and 4 other people tell her shes retarded and we walk to the subway.

I remember buying a metro card. and then nothing until this morning. Didn't black out just don't remember it.

Total drinks: two 40 oz, one 24 oz
Drunkness: 7.5 out of 10
Food: Donettes. pizza. ramen.

New Years 2006-2007 and Mother Fucking Gary Overhill

2008-09-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

CENSORED

My backround.

2008-09-10T17:29:00.000-07:00

My name is not Johnny Walker, I am however a 19 year old art student living in NYC. I grew up in a fairly affluent part of the US known for it's famous people, rediculous expensive cars, pot smoking and which is known as the 'underage drinking capitol of the world'. Coming from this area, we had nothing better to do but drink, drink, and drink. And trust me, we fucking did it. These kids had money out the ass, drove cars nicer than some peoples houses and had no idea what money was except that you could turn it in for alcohol. I drank heavily for the first time during my sophomore year of high school, so by my area standards I started late. The first time I drank heavily nothing exciting happens, I fell asleep in my bed, knew where i was the next morning and got hung over. No big deal. In this blog I will attempt to chronicle everytime and everything i drink from now on. I'll also try to throw some stories in for nostalgia from my past. No matter how boring or exciting, everything here is true.

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